HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – Reports filtering out of LaLaLand are saying that Demi Lovato is in a state of depression.
The singer/actress is still upset about her recent break-up with Brad Pitt, who is alleged to have insulted her by saying he felt she was having a bit of trouble hitting the higher octave notes in some of her up-tempo songs.
Lovato, who has won countless music awards, as well as an award for making a citizens arrest on two KKKers who were harassing a Jack-in-the-Box drive-thru employee, has been known to suffer from Yo Yo Personna (YYP) - up one minute, and down the next.
She recently told Sigmund Cottonseed, with Ipso Facto, that she blames one of her step-uncles, who used to tell her that she was 47 pounds overweight, and sounded like Roseanne Barr in heat.
A close friend stated that the 28-year-old is allegedly existing on Delaware Punch Soda and Double Stuf Oreo Cookies.