TISHOMINGO, Oklahoma – (Satire News) – The two country lovebirds are so looking forward to their upcoming 2021 Country Valentine’s Music Tour.
Blake and Gwen announced to Boom Boom News that they have booked the Trumpapalooza Ass Kickin’ Band to be their opening act.
The all-girl band The Hoosegow Honeys was originally scheduled to open for them, but they had to back out due to the drummer having a cervix issue, not to mention her ill-timed heroin bust.
Gwen wants to dispel the rumor that has been floating around the nation that she is expecting a baby.
She took a drink of her Seven & Seven, and said that the two pounds she has put on recently are just a result of her ingesting too many cantaloupe empanadas.
Meanwhile, boyfriend Blake says that he has drunk so much beer since they’ve been self-isolating, that he is keeping lots of brewery workers from getting laid off.