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Funny satire stories about heavy metal

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Funny story: Mini-Wacken-Metal-Festival in your backgarden means 'metal-head-banging-nutters' don't give a crap about Corona!

Mini-Wacken-Metal-Festival in your backgarden means 'metal-head-banging-nutters' don't give a crap about Corona!

(UNEDITED) Corona postponements have given new life to a hordes of Heavy Metal Head Bangers desperate to bang their heads in anyway possible, including holding mini-versions of the German Wacken Metal Festival, largest on the planet, in neighbours'…

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Funny story: Statistics reveal more sub-genres of Heavy Metal than metal fans

Statistics reveal more sub-genres of Heavy Metal than metal fans

The Office for National Statistics have identified more than seven million five hundred thousand genres/sub-genres of Heavy Metal, some of which is music. Geoff, a manager at the ONS, in charge of the entertainment/music/popular/rock/heavy-metal…

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Funny story: The Heavy Metal Band Formerly Known as C-19 is Now Officially Known as WD-40

The Heavy Metal Band Formerly Known as C-19 is Now Officially Known as WD-40

DUBLIN – Doolin Tipperary, the lead singer with the Irish heavy metal band formerly known as C-19, says the band has officially changed its name, and now goes by the name WD-40. “Tip”, as his bandmates and fans call him, said that when the band wa...

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Funny story: Nashville Musician Explains that notwithstanding Superficial Similarities, His Music Is Not Country

Nashville Musician Explains that notwithstanding Superficial Similarities, His Music Is Not Country

Nashville, Tennessee, musician Wes Woodward has a tough time categorizing the music created by his band Meridional Pyre, but he is very clear that it is most definitely not country music. "I'd say it's best described as southern Gothic with black...

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Funny story: Country Music Star Admits to Being Secret Slayer Fan

Country Music Star Admits to Being Secret Slayer Fan

While known for his crooning, picking, and twanging, country music megastar Ridge Lawson recently admitted that in his down time, he can't get enough of death metal band Slayer. "Fuck, they just really do it for me," said Lawson, briefly but unapo...

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Funny story: Ozzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat

Ozzie Osbourne Has Got A Frog In His Throat

Former Black Sabbath frontman, Ozzie Osbourne, has had to cancel a tour of Australia, New Zealand and Japan, after complications he experienced whilst trying to swallow a frog. Osbourne, 70, achieved notoriety in 1981, when he bit the head off a d...

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Funny story: Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Church of Satan Sues Led Zeppelin

Auntie Sandra Levi, High Priestess of The Church of Satan, filed a lawsuit this week alleging that rock band Led Zeppelin plagiarized the copyrighted liturgy of her church. "When they recorded the subliminal Satanic lyrics in Stairway to Heaven, t...

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Funny story: Local Death Metal Band Becoming Too Predictable

Local Death Metal Band Becoming Too Predictable

Local metal band "Hardly What The Name Indicates" now struggling with identity crisis after being told by fans they were "too predictable," and "not br00tal enough". The band is known for generic blast beats, highly technical arrangements, and impos...

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Funny story: Supreme Court Justices Form Heavy Metal Band Called 'SCROTUS'

Supreme Court Justices Form Heavy Metal Band Called 'SCROTUS'

WASHINGTON-On Monday, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts announced that he and the other justices will take a break from hearing oral arguments and focus on their music, or as Roberts calls it, "The Pain." The 5-4 decision came after six mon...

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Funny story: Heavy Metal Frontman Really Scared of Satan

Heavy Metal Frontman Really Scared of Satan

Jason Creel of Deth Knell says he had an epiphany three years ago in a Little Rock motel and since then his relationship with Satan, the embodiment of all evil in the world, has never been the same. "Let me put it this way," he said while sitting...

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Funny story: Doctor Phil's son in, 'metal band.'

Doctor Phil's son in, 'metal band.'

Doctor Phil's son Jordan has joined a metal band with which he ridicules his father. It is apparent. 'My band Philophile's first album is about Doctor Phil in general,' says the "Doctor's" son, Jordan. 'Yea I tried growing my hair out long but th...

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Funny story: Metal Band Steel Panther Awarded Nobel Prize....ish Accolade

Metal Band Steel Panther Awarded Nobel Prize....ish Accolade

Amsterdam, Netherlands-- In the shadow of Mondays announcements of this years Nobel Prize recipients in Stockholm, Sweden, a much lesser known yet equally prestigious set of awards were doled out a mere 1400 km away in the Netherlands. Metal band St...

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Funny story: Afghan headbangers in Kabul prove that the Taliban are full of "poppies"!

Afghan headbangers in Kabul prove that the Taliban are full of "poppies"!

A local headbangers concert in Kabul, involving local heay-metal bands has proved to the world that they can "head-bang it" as good as anybody, albeit the Taliban did not participate because of their turbans. The organisor of the event, Australian...

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Funny story: British Heavy Metal Band Blamed For Betrayal Of Jesus

British Heavy Metal Band Blamed For Betrayal Of Jesus

A new survey has revealed a shocking level of ignorance surrounding Easter and the events of Holy Week, amongst the general public. The survey, which was conducted by the respected agnostic journal, Navel-Gazing Today, was both scientific and repr...

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Funny story: Rush: Why Do You Dorks Like This Band?

Rush: Why Do You Dorks Like This Band?

Stop it now. For some reason you dorks really like this band and I'm telling you they're not cool. The fact that they're still around, 40 years after they started, is scary and disappointing, because it means today's young generation of dorks will be downloading them to their iPods just as feverishly as their parents bought their albums, 8-tracks, cassettes, and CDs. Well, I'm telling you to stop...

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Funny story: Royal Ballet Principal Quits For Death Metal Band

Royal Ballet Principal Quits For Death Metal Band

The world of dance is reeling this morning following the news that Sergei Polunin has quit as a principal with the Royal Ballet. Royal Opera House sources are mystified as to why the 21-year-old Ukrainian - the youngest dancer to be made a princip...

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Funny story: New Steel Panther Album May Lead to Another Medical Miracle

New Steel Panther Album May Lead to Another Medical Miracle

Last summer they inadvertently helped to treat cancer, along with erectile dysfunction. Now in the months following the release of Steel Panther's new album "Balls Out", a study is showing that infertility may be the next medical miracle brought for...

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