Elton John Is Back On The Booze Again

Written by Mister Meaner

Friday, 31 May 2019

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Fancy a quick one, Reg?

Rock legend Reginald Kenneth Dwight has revealed he is no longer 'on the wagon', and is drinking alcohol again as if it were going out of fashion.

The star, 73, spoke to reporters in an interview to promote the rock biopic 'Rocketman', and said that, after 30 years of abstaining from alcohol and drugs, he cracked when the pressure of not knowing whether or not the movie would be a success got to him.

Dwight, in tears, said that he needed something to calm his nerves, and had chosen, for this purpose, 15 cans of Stella Artois, followed by a bottle of Glenfiddich. Since then, he has added some Australian table wines to his daily intake, and is currently searching for some good Russian or Finnish vodka to help him sleep better.

The movie was relatively well received by audiences in the UK, but was not as popular as 'Aladdin', which is a musical fantasy film.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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