Empire State Building Ruled 'Unsafe' After BTS Visit

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 24 May 2019

image for Empire State Building Ruled 'Unsafe' After BTS Visit
Clearly, this didn't help, either

One of the most iconic buildings in the United States - if not the world - has undergone a structural survey, and has been ruled 'unsafe', with a strong recommendation that the building be pulled down "before lives are lost".

The Empire State Building, which is located in Midtown South on the west side of Fifth Avenue between West 33rd and 34th Streets, and conveniently opposite a 7Eleven, hosted a visit from the South Korean singing group, BTS on Tuesday night, with the band taking over the tower's world-famous LED lights.

The building had teamed-up with iHeartMedia to illuminate the lights purple to celebrate the band’s iHeartRadio live concert event which was happening at the same time at the iHeartRadio Theater.

Hundreds of fans had crowded inside the tower, with tens of thousands outside on the sidewalk, placing extra stress on the building's foundations. Others scaled the tower in attempts to get near their heroes, and ask them to marry them.

Incessant screaming cracked many of the tower's office windows.

On Wednesday morning, New York city officials ordered a complete structural survey, and concluded that the building was "near to collapse".

A meeting has been scheduled for September to decide on what further action, if any, to take.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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