James Bond is being reanimated after breathing heavily and nearly dying as the ancient MI5 spy failed miserably to lock millions into the cinema, but the latest Russian attack on the UK has given Bond makers food for thought!
Cameras have already started rolling in the ancient Elstree studios as, Pussy Galore, played by Volga Olga, Putin, homo-hater, played by disgraced US superstar, Kevin Spacey, queer as ever, and Theresa May, played by Marge Simpson of the Simpsons, gather to reincarnate Bond.
Russian, ex-poisoned spies are being played by real Russian double-agents who have not yet been expelled by May or poisoned by Putin (enough of them floating around London and the UK). M is being played by Mary Poppins (who is also a double agent floating above chimney tops with a poisoned umbrella), and Q who makes Bond's gadgets, is being played by a Fish Called BOJO!
Jumping on the tsunami of Russian poisonous attacks, the Bond makers felt it was time to remake 'From Russia with love' and bring it up to date especially as May and Putin are such great characters in telling lies, exaggerating the truth and accusing each other of being morons (which they are!).
Now the great question who is playing James??? Well several candidates were put forward; Sean Connery, but he couldn't remember his lines, Timothy Dalton, but he couldn't punch his way out of a wet paper bag, Pierce Brosnan; who now hates the English because of Brexit! So Bond makers have chosen the perfect candidate; Bruce Jenner, who can act like a man, be a woman, and slip in and out of Russian spies bedrooms with ease, gay or not gay...!!
Much excitement guaranteed...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzz!