British Prime Minister Teresa May's famed magical money tree is slowly dying from a fungal infection, reveals revered gardening expert and thinking woman's Poldark Alan Titchmarsh.
The tree, which has been mentioned a few times is only really used when the Government wants to pay for backing, or some dodgy tax racket. It is never used to pay for education, roads, railways, hospitals the NHS, etc, or anything else which would benefit the general wealth of the country.
A Spokesman said: 'Yes, it is a sad fact, the money tree - Financus Fiscus Arboretum has a Fungal infection, and it is slowly dying from the inside out. Still, Jacob Rees Mogg has it now as well, so the news is not all bad'