Theresa May to use female wiles on Putin to get confession re Skripal poisoning

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Thursday, 15 March 2018

image for Theresa May to use female wiles on Putin to get confession re Skripal poisoning
Honey-trap applicants to M16 must include photo

In a daring follow-up to the recent poisoning of Skripal and his daughter, the Prime Minister of England will not rest on mere accusations.

Ms. May has asserted that either Russia is directly responsible for attacking the Skripals, or has somehow let the poison “get into the wrong hands.”

Analogies on the internet for Ms. May’s reasoning here include:

A Rolls Royce in India running over somebody in New Delhi must be England’s responsibility, including allowing a very poor driver onto the streets.

In a mood to buttress the case, the Prime Minister will now move on to a further system of investigation.

Mr. Putin will be invited into 10 Downing Street for a special and private “arrangement” with Ms. May.

“Oh, I have talents here,” Ms. May has been overheard to exclaim as she prepares further for the arrival of Mr. Putin.

One of these talents, as well-known, is Ms. May’s ability with short dress and cleavage of an unusually pale and firm white texture, according to experts.

Inner sanctums at 10 Downing are notorious for their sensuous décor and environmental seduction powers, particularly since Ms. May assumed the office of Prime Minister.

Mr. Putin will be whisked quickly into one of these nether regions where he will encounter the exotic British Leader.

As to specifics in Ms. May’s precise behaviors in her mission, discretion is urged, although Mr. Putin’s weakness for caressing fingers and tenderness is well-known.

Inebriates of some sort are likely.

The possibility of Ms. May’s slipping onto Mr. Putin’s lap has been a staple in centuries-old honey-trap interrogation techniques.

With recording equipment and private listeners in surrounding walls, Mr. Putin will fold over.

He will confirm that once again he has ordered a dastardly action invading another country.

If Mr. Putin is sufficiently overcome to be unable to leave 10 Downing on his own power, an ambulance convoy will usher him to his waiting presidential jet on the tarmac at Heathrow.

So far, there is NO evidence tying the crime to a Kremlin directive.

The usual falling back on “very likely” and “the accusation suits the current political climate,” plus “it pleases the Americans” could possibly be strengthened.

Mr. Putin’s confession in the arms of the Prime Minister should hold up very well as to support further punitive action and militarism on this matter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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