Kanye West and Taylor Swift have agreed that there is only one way to settle their ongoing feud: They will meet this coming Saturday at high noon, packing matching Colt .45 Peacemakers, at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, for a good old-fashioned pistol duel.
In the unlikely event that the loser survives, it has been agreed that he or she will have to watch forty-eight hours of his or her own music videos, while strapped to a special chair, "Clockwork Orange" style.
In related news, Kim Kardashian has bought her husband a slim blonde inflatable doll, so that he can, in her words, "Work out his frustrations while I get a decent night's sleep, in another room, thank you."
