Written by Toeknee Abcess

Wednesday, 2 September 2015

image for Psychologists discover I'm Actually An Asshole Disorder

Recent research into Antisocial Personality Disorder sufferers has uncovered a related, but much more serious disorder called I'm Actually An Asshole Disorder.

Dr Novous Reck from the Berlin-based Itsalla Bout-May Institute presented his findings today to an international psychologists convention in London. Dr Reck, a Nobel Science Prize candidate, spent the last ten years studying assholes on 3 continents.

"Ya, ve haf discovered a new branch of ze Antisocial Personality Disorder disorder called I'm Actually An Asshole Disorder. Ve call it "Actually An Asshole" for zee brevity. Actually An Asshole sufferers can be easily diagnosed because zey exhibit at least three of a list of behaviours. Zese include a tendency to beat zeir vives regularly, gamble, drink zemselves regularly into oblivion vhilst driving viz zeir kids in zee car, smoke crack cocaine using zee family food budget, and abuse zeir dog.

In zee most extreme cases of Actually An Asshole, zey vote for Donald Trump, believe zat Kim Kardashian is talented or vish to become a member of ISIS."

Dr Reck's work has been widely acclaimed everwhere by psychologists, who see the opportunity to let more assholes off the hook on a global scale.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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