CRICKET BALLS, Mississippi - (Satire News) - The local newspaper is reporting that the 27th Annual Goobergoob Family Reunion, which is a 99% NRA family, was held at an old abandoned Dairy Queen parking lot for the seventh year in a row. Family pat…
PALM BEACH, Florida – A spokesperson for The Palm Beach Sheriff’s Department said that gunshots rang out at The Southern White House. Lt. Huckleberry “Bubba” Porkinski, 52, said that there were a total of 73 shots that were fired in the vicinity o...
The long overused but handy expression used by countless soulless politicians and supposed sympathizers when trying to gloss over a tragedy so that they could get back to their money making and power grabbing duties has run its course. The public at...
Only days after the Yellowstone Grizzly Bear lost its place on the endangered species list, Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke today removed the American Bald Eagle from the Fish and Wildlife Service's list. Environmentalists immediately file notice of in...
A contender for this years Darwin Awards is a young guy who spent months talking his girlfriend into shooting him on camera. Satire writers union rep stated "The story is another example of encroachment upon satire writers turf as this is clearly...
The near-fatal shooting of a small child in Compton last week, hit by a stray bullet intended for someone else, was only the most recent in a long list of similar unintentional shootings of innocent victims. This nation has had more than enough fune...
DENVER, Colo. - Seven people were severely injured when a man began firing during a planned Active Shooter drill in an office suite in downtown Denver's Tabor Center. The victims are all currently in stable condition. With public shootings reachi...
While Donald Trump mesmerized the media and the public with his crazy antics, Hillary Clinton was the one to actually shoot someone on New York's Fifth Avenue. It all unfolded as Clinton was shopping before a political rally on New York's famous...
Chemist, and now inventor, Trevor Maxon is enabling people to accurately do on purpose what they always do by accident: butt dial. For our interview and demonstration this day, Maxon is wearing his Bluetooth enabled Boogie Pad Butt Dialer jeans.
32 year old Simon Smith of Moss Side, Manchester has moaned about trying to write his shopping list as gang members shoot each other directly outside his house. Average resident Mr Smith took to Twitter to 'tell off' local gang members Kid Lowride...
Kanye West and Taylor Swift have agreed that there is only one way to settle their ongoing feud: They will meet this coming Saturday at high noon, packing matching Colt .45 Peacemakers, at the O.K. Corral in Tombstone, Arizona, for a good old-fashio...
GRAND RAPIDS, MI - A local woman was wrongly found guilty today of firing a shot into the drive-thru window of a McDonald's on February 10, 2015. We say wrongly convicted because the woman, "Shaneka," only fired the weapon into the store at head leve...
Ferguson, Mo. - Businesses were ablaze and bullets flew overhead throughout the night in Ferguson as officials chose the late evening as the best time to announce that a white police officer would not be indicted in the shooting of an unarmed black t...
Isla Vista, CA - A delusional, 22 year-old man went on a premeditated killing spree Friday night in an attempt to get "retribution", as he stated it, for the slight he felt humanity had given him. His hatred focused on one creature in particular:...
Washington DC - The sound of gunfire on Capitol Hill has seen the arrival of the same NCIS rapid response unit that secured the Washington Navy Yard on 16 September following a massacre that claimed 12 innocent lives. Special Agents Jethro Gibbs,...
The epidemic of gun violence in America continues unabated. The most recent incident occurred this past Friday at the Acme Widget and Wingding factory in Schnottville, Kansas. What seemed at first to be a typical Friday at the factory turned deadl...
National Rifle Association CEO and gun-rights martyr Wayne LaPierre likely was not expecting to be shot at as he celebrated the day after Gun Appreciation Day by shooting off his mouth with Sean Hannity on the Fox Comedy Network. LaPierre said he...
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