Michelle Obama Denies Scraping Car Paintwork On White House Gates

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Friday, 29 August 2014

image for Michelle Obama Denies Scraping Car Paintwork On White House Gates
Superficial damage

The first lady has denied scraping the paintwork of her husband's vintage Rolls-Royce on the White House gate while trying to avoid running over a pigeon yesterday.

Rumors that she applied eyeliner and nail color to disguise the damaged bodywork, before using a Wallmart home car body repair kit were strongly denied this morning. I did not do these things and the press photographs show me actually just removing pigeon droppings which were on the windshield and hood, honestly. I have had strong words with the gardeners, asking them to remove pigeons from the Presidential access gate areas. This is not Mary Poppins its the Goddam White House.

A local garage told our reporter that a black vintage Rolls-Royce car was having a long scratch repaired, but agreed with the First Lady's explanation that the damage was superficial and must have been there all the time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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