STOCKHOLM AWAY FROM HOLM, SWEDEN - Having had the distinction of having been awarded the once-prestigious Nobel Peace Prize in 2009, President Barack Obummer has the honor to be among such other laureates as Martin Luther King, Jr., Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela, Albert Schweitzer, and Desmond Tutu for no other reason, as far as historians and other scholars can discern, than his having been the first American president from Africa.
Ostensibly, the Committee awarded Obummer the prize for "arms control, disarmament, and neighborhood organizing," but "that can't be the reason," Hillary Clinton says. "If anything, the world is a more violent and heavily armed place today than it has ever been in the past."
Hillary's hubby, former president Bill, agrees with his bitter half. "Even when W was president, there was less terrorism than there is now. Because Obummer tucked his tail between his legs and ran, deserting our Iraqi friends and allies, ISIS has been emboldened enough to rape, pillage, burn, and even decapitate two of our journalists, using our military's equipment and weapons to do so."
Ironically, in scrambling for a reason for awarding the coveted prize to Obummer rather than to a potential recipient who actually deserved the prize, the 2009 Committee claimed Obummer was its choice because of "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples, and not because of the color of his skin." Obummer, the Committee added, as an afterthought, "inspires hope and change."
Now, with the entire Middle East in shambles, the rise of terrorist groups such as ISIS, the murder of Ambassador Christopher Stevens, and Hamas' repeated attempts to destroy Israel, not to mention the beheading of James Foley and Steven Sotloff, which ISIS shared with the world, courtesy of YouTube, America and the rest of the world hear, from Obummer's own mouth, that he has "no strategy" for dealing with terrorism, ISIS, or any other threats to his nation's security.
"The world is in worse shape than ever," Obummer's critics lament, and there is growing pressure on the Nobel Prize Committee to revoke Obummer's award.
"We're considering it," the Committee admitted, "but it probably won't happen. Who would we give it to, if we took it back from Obummer? Kent Brantly? Nancy Whitebol? Pope Francis? Don't make us laugh!"