Business Report from Italy - The Mafia Have Programmed Computers to be Mafia

Funny story written by UncleDale

Saturday, 30 July 2022

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This poor Mafioso may be out of a job in 2023.

The Instittuto Baloney in Bologna, Italy, just came out with a report that those various branches of the Italian Mafia are using computers and AI to modernize their various evil business operations.

A secret recording at a Mafia convention was quoted. The speaker is unknown.

"Computer extortion of all Italians is now a possibility. We won' t have to send out guys around in person. We now have computers that think and act like a Mafia capo. So, there will be good computers and bad computers.

“And the bad computers can us make lots of money fast and illegally.

“We learned this from the huge American corporations, and how they use computers. "

The Report details some of the computer modernization.

All their prostitutes are now in a database (with great photos). There are spread sheets and economic projections of the coming fiscal year.

How much smuggling illegals brings in - drugs bring in - blackmailing businesses, kickbacks from resorts, etc. brings in.

And a detailed list of Vatican, police and government officials they own.

Unfortunately, they have never been able to buy a Pope, and are jealous of the American corporations having bought all Congresses and Presidents. "What balls these corporations have" - one said.

They learned about the need to upgrade to computers - from noticing the Large American corporations that were doing dirty financial and political deeds to destroy, and then absorb competition, and become Huge Monopolies.

They are a huge monopoly also - but felt they had to modernize to keep up with the big crime groups in Asia - their competitors.

To learn more - they sent some of their sons to work in those corporations, Like Amazon and Walmart, to learn the inner tricks and coercions used on suppliers, and politicians.

Amazingly, the tactics were very like what the Mafia was already using. So, the Mafia just had to upgrade to computers and AI - not change their business methods at all. And, as a bonus, could add computerized blackmailing as a new way to make money.

"The American corporations are the most ruthless on the Planet,” Guiseppe, a senior Mafia guy said. “We like That. "

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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