CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - The biggest hamburger fast food franchise in the world has decided that they will be closing all of their 859 hamburger outlets in Russia.
A McDonalds spokeswoman, Bixie P. Bibbenfaust, 51, told the news media that due to the evil, hateful, cruel invasionary tactics that communist Russia has used against Ukraine, the McD corporation has decided to pack up all their McKetchup packets, their McMustard packets, and their Big Macs, Quarter Pounders, and their McTamales and get the heck out of Dodge (Dodgeski).
Meanwhile President Putin has said that he will personally start going to other American food franchises that are still operating in Russia; such as Burger King, Jack-in-the-Box, and Taco Bell.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Old Putski is so messed up in his little brain that he seems to have forgotten that Burger King, Jack-in-the-Box, and Taco Bell left Russia months ago.]
