Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell Are Interested In Buying Manchester United

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 6 December 2021

image for Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell Are Interested In Buying Manchester United
Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell have just formed Mor-Cow, Inc.

LONDON - (UK Satire) - Two of the richest and most popular residents of England are Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell.

Tickety Boo News has just heard from a very reliable source inside Buckingham Palace that the two gentlemen have been talking about purchasing a football team for years; and that team is the Manchester Red Devils.

TBN reporter Brompton Boxgrove spoke with both Cowell and Morgan at the Yo Sushi Restaurant, which is located two blocks from Buckingham Palace.

Piers said that he and Simon have talked extensively with the Manchester United Football Club owners, Joel, Avram, and Englebert Glazer.

Morgan even ran the idea by his BFF, her majesty, Queen Elizabeth, and she informed him that she thought it was a bloomingly spiffy idea, true dat.

The 95-year-old queen smiled and informed him that she would give the idea her official approval, but only on one condition.

When asked what the condition was, she replied that she would have to receive two free tickets to every Red Devils home game.

When Morgan informed her that Manchester is a little over 200 miles from London, the queen giggled and replied that he and Simon would of course throw in air fare, 5-star hotel accommodations, complimentary meals, and souvenirs.

“Oh of course, your majesty,” replied Morgan.

“Ditto.” Answered Cowell.

SIDENOTE: Boxgrove said that the queen informed him that the second football ticket is for Prince Charles.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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