Who Wants To Be a Trllionaire? You, Because You Already Are One!

Funny story written by Stefano M. Stefano

Sunday, 28 November 2021

For centuries people have complained that they're poor because they have little or no money in their wallet or purse or geeky fanny-pack, but new insights have come forth that would seem to contradict the concept of rich or poor.

Eminent math egg-head and collector of ancient pies and cakes, Professor Ted Q. Krackle, has come to realize one important fact;

"We're all rich!" he insists. "It's just that some of us are rich when you count the numbers left to right or right to left!"

Sitting cross-legged on his desk at Polkaroo University in a city somewhere on Earth, the perspicacious numbers guy continued to explain, as he rocked back and forth like an excited 7-year old hopped-up on sugar watching the Cookie Monster gobbling up cookies for breakfast instead of a nutrional...Sorry. Got off topic there. Anywaaaays...

"Start with the number one and add three zeros to the right and what do you get? One thousand. Add six zeroe to the right and you get one million. The numbers to the right are finite and represent your pitiful paycheques and money you stole out of your mother's purse. However, how many zeros are to the left of the number one? Hm? Hmmmmmmm???!!! I'll tell you a little secret...infinite zeroes!"

Professor Krackhead's...pardon me...Krackle's notion is that whatever number you can conceive of has as many zeros in front of it, to the left of the number in question, as your Lilliputian mind can imagine.

"So, if you just have \$18 in your bank account, just add those six lovely zeros to the left side or the front of the number eighteen, and BAM! BOOM! BANG! You're a millionaire with eighteen million dollars in your bank account! Of course...you're actually a negative millionaire, but who's counting? Now all your useless friends will bow down to you as the only millionaire on the street!"

When it was suggested that adding twelve zeros to the front of the number eighteen, one would be a 'negative trillionaire' with \$18 trillion in the bank. In fact, everybody in the world could be a millionaire, not just yourself by doing this reverse-math.

That was the breaking point. Doctor Cackle stopped drinking his soy milk from a souvenir mug from Pittsburgh, and replied in a condescending tone,

"Whaaaat? That's just crazy!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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