Man Forced To Economize After Further Salary Cut

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 29 March 2021

image for Man Forced To Economize After Further Salary Cut
Kenwood, calculating what 50% of 'hardly anything' is

A man who, only weeks ago, was told that he would be receiving his full salary again after an earlier pay cut, has been told to brace himself once more, as a 50% reduction in remuneration will come into force from Monday.

Five days before Christmas, teacher Moys Kenwood, 57, was told by his supervisor that, due to a reduction in student numbers, a 40% salary cut would have to be enforced. This lasted seven weeks.

Now, due to Coronavirus precautions, the school has again had to lock down, and teachers and students will have to stay at home, and teach and study 'online'.

Receiving this news last week, Kenwood began to calculate in his mind the scrimping he would have to do to make ends meet.

Of course, not having to go to work, means that he will get an extra two hours in bed, and will save on putting petrol in the motorbike, but, even so, corners would have to be cut.

"The children, of course, are a massive drain on resources. I'm afraid we're going to have to think twice - and possibly thrice - before buying sweets and ice creams in the future."

Also coming under scrutiny was his wife's pocket money.

"She won't mind," he said. "She only uses it to buy make-up. It's not strictly necessary."

Reminded that the cuts applied mainly to 'other people', rather than to himself, Kenwood immediately leapt to his own defence.

"I, myself, will be maximizing my tea bag usage," he said. "One bag is going to have to make two cups from now on."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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