After dispatching his subordinate ministers to explain on English TV why there are massive fuel shortages, Boris Johnson, has now run out of excuses, and instead of continually blaming the outside world, and EU, for the misery he caused, has come up with a brilliant solution!
Giving a damn fine jolly, Churchillian, heroic speech on the Beeb, he has told English car drivers to head for Hadrian's Wall, and beyond, to fill up their super-charged BMW's, Mercs, VW's, Made in Germany, with high octane Scotch Whisky!
"People, there is no shortage of fuel, just EU drivers we booted out after you voted to leave that cesspit called the EU, so please don't blame me, blame them! And if you need some damn jolly, spiffing good fuel, go to Scotland and fill up there, but it might be quite expensive!" Johnson suggested.
Huge traffic jams piled up in front of Johnny Walker's, Ballantines, Chivas Regal, and many more distilleries, hoping to fill their empty tanks with high-octane alcohol, Made in Scotland.
In return, Nicola Sturgeon, Scottish PM, has ordered all Scotch whisky sold to Sassenachs must have a 35% export tariff on top of normal prices! In addition, she has ordered a referendum to leave the UK because the EU, through the back door, have offered Scotland a way back into their front door, an offer she could not refuse!
Johnson, meanwhile, has threatened to Attack Scotland if they ignore his demands to stay in the UK, but Nicola is laughing all the way to Brussels because the English army have no fuel left to fill up their tanks to march into Glasgow!
Sturgeon then sent a case of finest Scotch to BOJO with a note,
"Dear Boris, you can fill up your Jaguar, Indian made, with this fine case of our wonderful product, and goodbye, we are off to the EU, like it or not, BURP!
Johnson then asked Biden if the US had HGV drivers prepared to work in the UK, he told him to "stuff himself, and beg to Donald!"