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Giant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!

Funny story: Giant US toy retailer buys up Chinese sex toy stock to avoid bankruptcy!

It seems the retail toy world is in turmoil after a giant toy retailer announced it was bankrupt in the US and Canada and cannot compete with internet rivals that swim up the Amazon and Target other Wally Martyrs! So, after hearing that China has...

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Trump Files for Moral Bankruptcy

Funny story: Trump Files for Moral Bankruptcy

Washington, DC - President Donald Trump filed for moral bankruptcy today. The nation accepted the filing. Demanding a "fresh start", Trump tweeted, "I get out of every problem by filing for bankruptcy. Today is no different." The bankruptcy f...

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Meeting Donny J.

Michael Jackson's boyhood home. Gary, Indiana. Aside from the King of Pop, this metropolis didn't offer much. It was a pit. All that was left of this once booming steel town was boarded-up buildings, a few liquor stores that resembled jails with all of the metal bars protecting the premises, a minor league baseball team with a brand new baseball park (the "Railcats") and various river boat cas...

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Judgements In Trump U Lawsuit To Bankrupt Donald Trump

Funny story: Judgements In Trump U Lawsuit To Bankrupt Donald Trump

In just the first of many civil suits to conclude against Donald Trump and Trump University, a jury in one of the cases handed Trump a 500 million dollar judgement against him. Exposing the gap between what The Don says he's worth and the reality,...

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Pythagoras leaves Greek cave! He can't afford the rent!

Funny story: Pythagoras leaves Greek cave! He can't afford the rent!

Greek philosopher, Pythagoras, is being forced out of his cave on Samos because he cannot afford the rent although he's been dead for roughly 2500 thousand years! Greece is in such financial turmoil and authorities on the wonderful island decided...

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Greek banks go begging in streets of Athens!

Funny story: Greek banks go begging in streets of Athens!

Distraught Greek bank personnel and managers were spotted carrying begging bowls along the streets of Athens and other major cities in the country! After refusing to accept the EU's reforms and repayment conditions Greek multi-millionaires and nor...

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Another $10-a-barrel crude drop to bankrupt Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

Funny story: Another $10-a-barrel crude drop to bankrupt Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich

New York - Off-the-Wall Street analysts stand to make a killing betting that oil and gas tycoon Roman Abramovich will go bust as global crude prices continue to flop. Uh, drop. This morning traders dumped masses of the Russian's GazPogrom.com st...

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Get It While You Can: Burt Reynolds Sells Himself (Cheap!)

HOLLYWEIRD, CALIFORNICATE - Has-been "actor" Burt Reynolds, who has lived beyond his means for many years, is offering over 600 "personal items" to the highest bidder at an auction at the Palms Casino Resort in Sin City (a. k. a. "Las Vegas"). The...

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EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

Funny story: EU robber barons launch $10bn 'Ecuador-style' Apple shakedown

Dublin, Ireland - The Irish government has been ordered to seize billions of dollars in spurious new taxes from US tech giant Apple. A Chapter Eleven bankruptcy plot by departing EU Competition (sic) Commissioner Joaquín Almunia designed to ward o...

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Finders Weepers - Cops Cuff Criminal Coin Collector

Providence, RI, and Athens, Gr -- Usually, it's a case of finders keepers, losers weepers. Not this time, though. A "prominent collector" in Rhode Island (which, despite its name, is not actually an island) relinquished his claims to ownership...

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CeX customers believe it's 1999

Funny story: CeX customers believe it's 1999

The latest market research from Mintel has revealed that 82% of customers at CeX are mentally stuck in 1999. CeX has hundreds of potent smelling stores across the country, where members of the public trade in box sets of Buffy The Vampire Slayer f...

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U. S. Bureau of Land Management wants to convert horses into horsemeat

Faced with a financial downturn and possible bankruptcy, the U. S. Bureau of Land Management, which manages not only land, but also wild horses, burros, rattlesnakes, jackrabbits, skunks, porcupines, armadillos, and a number of other "wildlife resour...

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Hundreds of Aliens Spotted in West Virginia! Dozens Reported Missing!

Funny story: Hundreds of Aliens Spotted in West Virginia! Dozens Reported Missing!

"Whatever these things are or wherever they are from, they're sure interested in our chemical spill", says police officer. "I'm far from the water here and don't have to wear any special gear but I'll be glad to leave anyway." Others within ten mi...

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Detroit is Severely Criticised by Bankruptcy Manager for Not Disclosing Lottery Wins

Funny story: Detroit is Severely Criticised by Bankruptcy Manager for Not Disclosing Lottery Wins

Detroit, MI Detroit was chastised by the emergency bankruptcy manager for not revealing its lottery wins. It appears that Detroit has just been going out and having a good time and not letting the bankruptcy manager know about the windfalls. "It'...

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New blow for Detroit bankruptcy as City's $1billion art collection branded 'mostly fake'

Funny story: New blow for Detroit bankruptcy as City's $1billion art collection branded 'mostly fake'

Detroit, Michigan - A last ditch rescue bid to save Detroit from skid row this weekend has gone down the pan following assessments by international experts of its 2,800-strong collection of paintings, sculptures, pottery pieces and other precious ar...

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Detroit's Toe Tag Gang Declares Bankruptcy

Funny story: Detroit's Toe Tag Gang Declares Bankruptcy

It's not often that you hear of a Gang declaring bankruptcy but the once extremely vicious Toe Tag Gang of Detroit has filed today. "We used to control the funeral homes and Crematoriums all over the city", says ex-gang member Joe Mackerel. But t...

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Detroit Lions Cheerleaders To Sell Their Bras and Panties on eBay And Donate The Money To The City of Detroit

Funny story: Detroit Lions Cheerleaders To Sell Their Bras and Panties on eBay And Donate The Money To The City of Detroit

DETROIT - The Detroit Lions cheerleaders held an emergency meeting at The Carburetor Coliseum and decided to collectively do something to help the city of Detroit which has filed for bankruptcy. Lions head cheerleader Brooke Springbutter, 24, info...

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The twinkeling out of Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread

Funny story: The twinkeling out of Hostess Twinkies and Wonder Bread

NEW YORK CITY (ABSNN) - Hostess Brands, the bakers of Wonder Bread, Ho Hos and Twinkies, announced today it will shut down its remaining two plants due to a strike that crippled its operations. Although the company will cease operations, Twinkies ha...

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Breaking news…

Fake Friend

Surprise, surprise! Apparently, Omarosa was Trump’s fake friend. This is definitely sad.
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