LAKE LAKOTA, North Dakota – (Satire News) – The Federal Department of Money Laundering has just issued a statement naming North Dakota as America’s number one state for drug cartel money laundering.
The report states that federal investigators traced $604 billion that were deposited in 14 different North Dakota banks back to some of the most infamous drug cartels in the drug world.
Lake Lakota's Rain Dance Bank was found to have deposits totaling $62 billion, that were found in the account of Guatemala's Tapachula Hombres Drug Cartel, which owns The Central American Liga de Soccer team, The Guatemala City Banananistas.
Meanwhile Fargo's Second International Bank was found to be the money laundering institution of record for the notorious Cartelistico Coronel Cartel, based in Costa Rica, which allegedly provides drugs to 83 of the world’s 196 countries.
SIDENOTE: Vice President Kamala Harris has put together a fact-finding committee headed by White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki that will take every dime of the cartel money and it will be deposited in a special White House Miscellaneous Discretionary Fund.