Global bank purchases 5000 washing machines to launder their filthy money!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 21 September 2020

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At last, banks are again recruiting people to do their dirty washing!

(NOT EDITED) German electro giants, Miele, have just done a mega-deal with a giant, global bank. They've flogged and delivered one of their most sufficient washing machines to locations all over the planet.

The bank who purchased the machines, requested help because they have too much 'filthy money' in their vaults, which requires a damn good washing! They contemplated purchasing Chinese machines, but thought their could be spies in the software.

Whirlpool were also contacted, but their machines conk out after 5 washings. So, the bank opted for German efficiency, Made in Germany, and Miele got the contract!

The washing machines have been delivered to locations as outlandish as the Mongolian capital, Ulaanbaatar, Borneo, Christmas Island, Siberia, Antarctica, in fact, anywhere where money laundering can be done efficiently and, where Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) super-snooper reporters cannot access.

However, roaches are all over the planet, just like scumbag drug dealers, corrupt politicians, and banks, who offer their services to criminals because having their money washed in their depots means they can invest it again and acquire Premier League footy clubs!

Manchester United are top of the list because help from anywhere in their situation is crucial...Even El Chapo's inheritance was considered, but Newcastle United got in first! Typical Man United, always too late to purchase anything, ask Thiago....

Persil, have also been asked to supply their superb, whiter-than-white washing powder. The bank have done a mega-deal with them because there is no way spies can get into washing powder. Although, this particular white-powder-range could become suspicious!

More as we SNIFF it...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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