CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The toy industry is reporting that the biggest flop in the history of toy flops is the Marjorie Taylor Greene Action Figure Doll.
The Hasbrutha Toy Company reports that out of the 200,000 that were produced and distributed throughout the entire 50 states, the United Kingdom, and Asia, only 8 were sold…yes that’s 8, as in 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8!
A spokesperson for the toy giant said that the employee who came up with the idea for the Marjorie Taylor Greene Action Figure Doll has been identified as Mildred P. Ducklitty, 41, and she has reportedly already entered into the “Witness Protection Program."
The New York Sunshine Observer newspaper is reporting that Ducklitty's husband of 17 years has filed for divorce, 7 of her 8 children have disowned her, and her boyfriend, Peter McPatio, 34, has dropped her quicker than a baby squirrel dropping a hot charcoal briquette.
Meanwhile, iRumors has learned that Marjorie Taylor Greene, who is 47, but looks 67, bought one of her own action figure dolls, Matt Gaetz bought one, Mitch McConnell bought one, Tucker Carlson bought two, and Donald Johnny Trump bought three.