UK Supermarkets about to scream 'HELP!' Boris Johnson about to scream 'Pas de problème!'

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Tuesday, 22 December 2020

image for UK Supermarkets about to scream 'HELP!' Boris Johnson about to scream 'Pas de problème!'
He has everything under control in the UK! "Pas de problème, my private jet is waiting to get me out of here!!

(NOT EDITED) Huge supermarket chains, Sainsbury's and Tesco are claiming: "This could end up in food shortages if our government doesn't move its fat butt!"

In contrary the Brit PM has claimed: "Pas de problème,” "I have had a lovely chat with President Macron, he has wished me a Happy Christmas and sent me a French plum pudding via Amazon, so I don't have to go to the supermarket and see what all the fuss is about!"

The Supermarkets replied: "Boris, but there are 1500 trucks stuck in front of the Dover Crossing, and nothing coming the other way, we need fresh veggies, salads, oranges, olives, etc, and our shelves are only filled with Baked Beans and white stodgy toast bread! Have you completely lost the plot!?"

Boris countered: "“Pas de problème,” I have everything under control, my private jet is waiting to take me and the missus to the Bahamas for a lovely Chrissy break, I have a diplomatic right to enter their fabulous island and sod all Brits who haven't!"

Sainsbury's and Tesco countered: "But PM what about the chaos that's going to hit the fan when we don't have a trade deal? They'll be tariffs, taxes and 6000 trucks waiting to bring our fresh products into the UK?"

Boris answered diplomatically: "Pas de problème,” We are vaccinating the nation and we; the great UK were the first, and only I could have achieved that! Brexit, oh that, well, Pas de problème, I have spoken to Donald, he has organised a trade deal with his GMO farms and factories! US supplies will start rolling in January! I.E. Chemical chickens, genetically manipulated mutating veggies and fruit, sugar-loaded white bread, junk food from McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza Hut, and many other delicious goodies! And once again I have saved the UK from those forked tongue lying blackmailers over there in the EU, thanks Nigel Farage!

A Sainsbury CEO just put a bullet through his brain, and a Tesco Executive was seen jumping off Beachy Head!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more