"Dithering is my strongest trait" claims UK PM, BOJO!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

image for "Dithering is my strongest trait" claims UK PM, BOJO!
Jaggedone leads the Monster Raving Loony Party into the next UK election because only Nutters can win, ask BOJO!

(UNEDITED) "I would never have hacked it into Nr 10 unless I was a huge ditherer, bringing confusion, chaos, and not letting people know what I actually mean; it's my strongest characteristic, or not, or yes!" BOJO recently divulged to Jaggedone in a personal interview given to him in a place, or places, nobody has ever heard of because then everybody would know, and that's certainly not BOJO's political philosophy!

"If I let people know what I actually mean, for example; social distancing, 1.5 or 2.0 or 1.0 metres in shops, but not in shops, or in the London Underground, but not in London buses. Or, Kids should wear masks in schools Monday, but Tuesday remove them. Vote for Trump or Biden, depending how much they love me. Ignore Merkel, but love Putin, then again, I drive a BMW, so love Merkel instead because I got a great deal from Made in Germany, but don't tell anybody because my limo is a Jag! Oh, but they're Indian, so love India instead; get my drift JO?"

By this time Jaggedone was quite confused about what BOJO was actually saying to 65 million Brits because the majority follow his actual words and, voted for the imbecile. So, JO asked him once again, why does he believe in bringing total chaos to his beloved UK is his strongest trait?

Here BOJO's answer whilst brushing his thinning, wind-blown-hairdo out of his eyes, Trump style:

"Well Jaggedone, I don't really know to tell the truth, but my spindoctors told me to just be who I am, a complete buffoon because people love a village idiot! In addition, if you tell people the truth, old Bean, you have nothing to look for in politics because it's all a load of bollocks anyway! However, you can live a 'Life of Larry', dine at the finest restaurants, secretly shag big-boobed-bimbo's if you want, and when you're finished, write a book that sells millions; get it now, or not, or yes, or no?"

Dear BOJO, Jaggedone certainly gets it now, so, he will be fighting the next election for the 'Monster Raving Loony Party' because their 'Nutter Founder', Lord Sutch, popped his clogs long ago, and they are desperate to find somebody just as loony as you! In fact, he might even win! Get it, or not?

Dear Spoof readers, you can also read this incredible insight into BOJO's scatty brain in MAD...!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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