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Funny satire stories about tesco

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Funny story: UK Supermarkets about to scream 'HELP!' Boris Johnson about to scream 'Pas de problème!'

UK Supermarkets about to scream 'HELP!' Boris Johnson about to scream 'Pas de problème!'

(NOT EDITED) Huge supermarket chains, Sainsbury's and Tesco are claiming: "This could end up in food shortages if our government doesn't move its fat butt!" In contrary the Brit PM has claimed: "Pas de problème,” "I have had a lovely chat with Pre…

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Funny story: Man Was Sneered At For Buying Coco Pops

Man Was Sneered At For Buying Coco Pops

The lockdown due to the Coronavirus has had its effect on many areas of our lives, and that was certainly true for one man who turned up at his local supermarket, yesterday, to find that there were no Kellogg's Corn Flakes on display, and he had to s…

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Funny story: Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'

Man Went To Tesco At 3am 'To See What It Would Be Like'

A man with little better to do than visit supermarkets in the middle of the night, has recounted how he visited his local Tesco Superstore at 3am one morning - just to see what it would feel like! Moys Kenwood, 55, told of how, in September 2017,...

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Funny story: Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit

Supermarket Mergers, Pacts And Other Such Shit

There was a swift reaction to the news earlier this week that supermarket giants Asda and Sainsbury were to merge, when several other major players also announced their own intentions to join forces. First to react was Tesco, who revealed that the...

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Funny story: TESCO PJ Problem

TESCO PJ Problem

A man has finally come out and exclaimed what were all thinking....no nothing about your rash or what cream you should use. Fucks sake it's not all about you. He posted a picture of two women idily roaming through the giant food depositary that i...

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Funny story: Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

Jobless father who blew benefits on sausage rolls banned from every Greggs bakery on 13-mile stretch of coast

A feckless father has been banned from every single Greggs along an entire 13 mile stretch of coastland after going on a six year sausage roll addiction funded by state handouts. Jobless Mervin Gardener, 25, terrorised police, supermarket security...

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Funny story: Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young banned from shopping for six months for speeding in supermarket aisle

Manchester United star Ashley Young has been banned from shopping for six months for speeding in a supermarket aisle. The 28-year-old England international admitted to pushing his trolley at 5mph on a 3mph section of Aisle 8 at the Tesco on Parrs...

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Funny story: German giants bash Tesco!

German giants bash Tesco!

Tesco, one of Britain's top four supermarkets are being forced to close 43 of their stores while German giants, Lidl and Aldi, have decided to "Blitzkrieg" the UK by opening many more of their cheap stores. The Germans attitude is; if you can beat...

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Funny story: Christmas Aisles Cleared From Supermarkets

Christmas Aisles Cleared From Supermarkets

U.K Supermarkets have all followed each other in a gaffe caused by a "night staff" manager in Fresco. Overnight shelf stackers have replaced all Christmas items on the shelves of major supermarkets with Easter eggs. Most people have experienced th...

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Funny story: Tesco Allocates New Parking Bays For The Selfish

Tesco Allocates New Parking Bays For The Selfish

Tesco announced today that it is introducing new car parking areas specifically for those of a selfish disposition. The designated spaces will be added on to the ends of existing rows in Tesco's car parks and marked with cross hatching. The schem...

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Funny story: Ex Tesco boss, Sir Terry Leahy, loves boarded up high street shops!

Ex Tesco boss, Sir Terry Leahy, loves boarded up high street shops!

Sir Terry Leahy, ex supermarket boss sitting on a "Desert Island Disc" has said he just loves boarded-up shops in the high streets of Britain because it means more customers for his beloved supermarket and the death of the "little shops and their own...

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Funny story: Tesco burger found in horse!

Tesco burger found in horse!

Super market giant Tesco today admitted that one of their prime value beef burgers had been found inside a horse. The horse named Billy after William Shakespeare, was today undergoing intensive surgery to remove the burger which had lodged in its sto...

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Funny story: India doesn't want British supermarkets because they're not the "Raj" anymore!

India doesn't want British supermarkets because they're not the "Raj" anymore!

Protests in India have proven that the Raj has had its day on the sub-continent and British supermarkets are not the "Raj" as far as Indians go. Global supermarkets attempting to cash in on India's new found wealth, including British ones, are bei...

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Funny story: Tesco: Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco: Every Little Old Lady Helps

Tesco are due to announce that they intend to change retirement age for their staff from 65 to 67. They will become the first major employer to make the change, and they believe the move will be popular. Tesco Group Personnel Director Val Ewebran...

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Funny story: Bristol hippies protest against Tesco

Bristol hippies protest against Tesco

A group calling themselves the People's Republic of Stokes Croft are continuing to protest against the opening of a Tesco's shop in Bristol. The group are named after the totalitarian regime which seized power in China in the 1950s, and the Bristol g...

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Funny story: Cashback Protesters Strike in Manchester

Cashback Protesters Strike in Manchester

Protesters against the expansion of the supermarket giant Tesbury's have struck in Manchester with a cash-back scam that has left the national chain of grocery stores fuming. "We're very disappointed," said Tesbury's managing director Tessa Coe. "...

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Funny story: Future News: Prices Wars II

Future News: Prices Wars II

(Published 2017) - LONDON - A second price war has happened within the borders of Britain. Back in '13 it was GAP vs. Peacock (both are clothes stores). Today it is ASDA Vs. Tesco. Like the previous price war, both transnational corporations are d...

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