Brit 'spiffing PM' confuses 'Lockdown' with 'Countdown' in his jumbled up bubble!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 30 November 2020

image for Brit 'spiffing PM' confuses 'Lockdown' with 'Countdown' in his jumbled up bubble!
Is Johnson a linguistic genius, or a total linguistic imbecile? Maybe we should refer to him for a relative theory!

(NOT EDITED) Many Brit voters are now pondering over their decision to put 'spiffing' Boris Johnson into power as Christmas approaches. Oxford English language professors are being invited to Nr.10 Downing Street in an attempt to untangle the PM's scatty brain before 'Brexshit' hits the fan, and the Corona pandemic strangulates Christmas retailers in the UK (non-internet)!

The two most confusing words, which Johnson just cannot differentiate are; 'Lockdown' and 'Countdown'. He told the nation, that before Christmas there will be a 'Lockdown', but no real 'Lockdown', because the 'Countdown' to Christmas cannot be a real 'Countdown!' Why? Johnson implemented a 'Lockdown', but not a real one! So, there is a 'Countdown', but only if there is not a 'Lockdown' in some areas, and other areas, not!

Oxford professors have offered Johnson another word to stop his mumble-jumble during press conferences; it is the word 'TIER', not to be confused with the German word 'TIER', which means animal, but the analogy is quite obvious with BOJO's brain. However, that's an insult to animals, sorry, MOO!

Johnson is now using the word, TIER, instead of 'Lockdown' and 'Countdown', because Brits who voted for the imbecile have given up any attempt understanding their jolly, fumbling PM, and need to do their Christmas shopping during 'Countdown' or 'Lockdown', depending if one resides in TIER 1, 2, or 3!

Another mumble-jumble word exiting Nr.10 is DEAL! Well it has been over 4 years since a certain 'fishy' referendum turned the UK on its head, and now, with only a month to go, the word, DEAL, is utterly confusing because during the 'Countdown' to Christmas, every day there is a DEAL, then a NO-DEAL the very next day.

Oxford English language intellectuals have at least helped Johnson with the word TIER, but have no explanation why a Brit PM cannot untangle the words DEAL or NO-DEAL!

The Italian PM offered Johnson a new adjective to help him understand what a fucking mess the UK is in; SPAGHETTI JUNCTION! Johnson understood this, told the Italian PM to '"fuck off back to spaghetti land because we have nothing to do with you mob over there," then booked a table at his favorite Italian restaurant in London. London is in TIER 2, and that means for BOJO there is no 'Lockdown' just a 'Countdown' to his favorite time of the year, Christmas.

As for the blind sheep who voted for him, and his Conservative cohorts (where's Mogg BTW?), happy 'Lockdown' or 'Countdown' in whatever TIER you find yourselves!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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