The lockdown due to the Coronavirus has had its effect on many areas of our lives, and that was certainly true for one man who turned up at his local supermarket, yesterday, to find that there were no Kellogg's Corn Flakes on display, and he had to settle for Coco Pops instead.
Myke Woodson, from Oaf-on-Sea, entered his local Tesco on Beverley High Road, and headed along the crazy, mazy channels until he arrived at the breakfast cereals. He went to the place where the Kellogg's Corn Flakes are usually stacked, but there was just an empty space.
He searched up and down for a while, much to the annoyance of other shoppers who were moving in one direction only, before he realised he was going to have to select an alternative.
The options were endless: Special K, Rice Krispies, Ricicles, Frosties, Sugar Smacks, Sugar Puffs, Froot Loops, Shreddied Wheat, Shreddies, Raisin Bran, Pop Tarts, Cheerios, Coco Pops, Golden Grahams, Apple Jacks, All Bran, Bran Flakes, Alpen, Fruit 'n' Fibre, Quaker Oats, Weetabix, Weetaflakes, and Weetashit, to name but a few.
He plumped for Coco Pops. They looked chocolatey, and scrummy.
He then had to endure 'Mandy' the till operator's ironic smile and look of scorn, at buying children's cereals, as he paid for the item at the check-out. She asked:
"D'you allus buy kids' cereals, then?"
Woodson ignored this impertinence.
As the transaction ended, and he turned to leave, he heard the smug bitch join in an under-the-breath jingle-duet with the next customer:
"Ad rather have a bowl of Coco Pops!"
He slunk out, making a mental note to avoid Mandy in the future.