Anti-Coronavirus Dog Collars Available To Public From Friday

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 18 March 2020

image for Anti-Coronavirus Dog Collars Available To Public From Friday
This dog was kind enough to model one of the lampshades for us

Retailers in the UK say that a human version of the protective Elizabethan Collar worn by dogs to stop them licking, biting or scratching themselves, will be on sale in clothing stores later this week.

The collars, which make dogs look like they have been forced to wear a lampshade, have been developed in the battle against the Coronavirus, where personal hygiene is of utmost importance.

Until now, government advice has been to avoid hand contact with other people, and also to avoid touching one's own face, nose or mouth, in an effort to keep the virus at bay.

The Elizabethan Collars will help in this respect, say manufacturers.

One doctor who knows as little about the virus as the rest of us, said:

"Yes, it's true that wearing one of these will make you look like a bit of a twat, and the unwitting recipient of much hurled abuse on the street, but, if it helps to stop people constantly touching their lips or picking their noses, and spreading the virus it's a small price to pay."

The collars are made from resilient PVC plastic or fabric, and come in a number of attractive colours and designs.

All major stores will stock the collars, which start at a reasonable price of £225, which is not a small price to pay.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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