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Funny satire stories about Stock Market

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Funny story: Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Is Hoffman La Roche Peaking Yet?

Geneva: This afternoon, drug manufacturer Hoffman La Roche, most notably famous for bringing the wildly popular pharmaceutical Lysergic acid diethylamide to market (we all know it as LSD, windowpane, double domes, etc.), announced the formation of a...

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Funny story: Business Roundup with The Money

Business Roundup with The Money

"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh." "And I'm Geoff Wonga." "Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on h...

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Funny story: Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise

Trump Breaks Dow With Premature Chinese Tariff Promise

Wall Street, Manhattan President Donald Trump has done it again, as he set a new record for negative tweeting. Because he broadcast a tariff deal as 'done' when it WASN'T done, the fine folks on Wall Street went into panic mode, and the Dow plunged 8...

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Funny story: Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

Stock Market Goes Down, Then Up, Then Down Again.

The stock market went up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down. It then rose before dropping. This was quickly followed by an increase, which was interrupted by a fall. The market then went up, then back down. It went up, down, u...

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Funny story: Stock Market Collapses

Stock Market Collapses

As an amazing run of poor luck continued on the Stock Market, traders were left facing 'total ruin' after high winds yesterday blew the stalls down. The 'early forecast' had been good, but squally showers mid-morning, and strong breezes coming fro...

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Funny story: Stock Market Volatility forces CEO to consider giving up "Wednesday Home"

Stock Market Volatility forces CEO to consider giving up "Wednesday Home"

With China's market crash having an effect on the US Stock Exchange even the wealthiest of "1%" are feeling the pinch. Take, for example, Jeffrey Van Thornhurst, CEO of Takyour Financial Inc. who has felt a very direct personal impact due to the mon...

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Funny story: Tax Hike and Budget Cuts To Pad Chinese Failing Stock Market

Tax Hike and Budget Cuts To Pad Chinese Failing Stock Market

With the recent major drop in the Chinese stock market, the President has ordered Congress to begin emergency planning on how to keep the failing stocks from crashing completely. One of the proposed plans is a national tax hike and even more budget...

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Funny story: IBM sells itself to self

IBM sells itself to self

From the moment the bell rang, the stock market went bananas. For days it had been rumored that IBM was up to something. For the entire week the stock reflected unusual activity. The volume had increased from its usual daily volume of 12 million to 1...

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Funny story: Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Bwahaha! Falling oil prices send Russian oligarchs cap-in-hand to Wonga

Hole in the Wall Street, Moscow - Usury is thriving once again in Moscow's financial district with payday lenders shamelessly jacking up their base rates as a surge of cash-strapped oligarchs comes a-begging following a plunge on the global price of...

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Funny story: Rich Stingy, Working People More Generous

Rich Stingy, Working People More Generous

Between 2006 and 2012, the wealthiest Americans became less generous with charitable donations, as a share of their total income, while lower- and middle-income Americans reached farther into their pockets as they witnessed the need for charity in th...

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Funny story: Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

Falklands In Argentinian Government Bonds Rescue

The British Falkland Islands are now the new owners of all Argentina's Government bonds, infrastructure shares, mining and commodity stock after an anticipated IMF approved rescue plan was implemented at 6.00 hrs this morning. The move is expected t...

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Funny story: Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Wall Street Banks' Financial Dealings Stump the Lord Almighty

Dateline: NEW YORK--A cabal of Wall Street bankers runs a global crime syndicate that buys the regulators of their industry, rigs the rules of the market, and uses convoluted financial instruments and bogus mathematical models to siphon cash from the...

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Funny story: Twitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company

Twitter Birdies Hate Working for a Public Company

Lots of folks are ecstatic that Twitter is now a publicly traded company. But not the Twitter birdies! Word is that they were much happier when the company was a private one, filled with relaxed-looking workers in jeans and T shirts. Now, for...

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Funny story: Catholic Church to be Privatised

Catholic Church to be Privatised

The Catholic Church is to be floated on the Stock Market. Cardinal Karl Profiteri of the Holy See's Banca Ambrosiana has announced that the Church is going to be privatised. At a special conclave of bishops the vote was taken last April during th...

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Funny story: Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE

Formerly Priceless Commodity, Love, Now Traded on NYSE

In a stunning new move, NYSE Chairman Marsh Carter approved the addition of a new commodity - love - onto the NYSE. Commodities like wheat, corn, soy beans, and pork bellies have long been pedaled through commodities markets. But due to its ethereal...

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Funny story: Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Cat Makes A Million on E-Trade

Park Slope, NY - Fuggles the cat wasn't much loved by his new owner, Daniel Stone, who would sooner have gotten rid of him altogether... but then Fuggles became much more valuable. Fuggles had been bestowed upon Mr. Stone by his girlfriend, Sophie...

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Funny story: China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

China Attempts to Place Value On Human Life; Succeeds

In an effort to combat the ongoing recession, the Chinese government is currently attempting to place a monetary value on life based on earning potential. Preliminary reports have been released with estimates of how much they have determined people t...

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