Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 5 July 2019

image for Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man
Lighten up! You're only president once. Or maybe twice, if voters are careless...

As the crowds left a rain-soaked Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC last night, having witnessed a 'no expenses spared' military showcase extravaganza to rival anything seen before, one man was already berating the tremendous waste of money expended on President Donald Trump's politicizing of the 4th of July celebrations.

The man, who can't be named for assassination reasons, said:

"It was shit, and a fucking enormous waste of cash."

The president's opponents agreed. They complained that the money used to stage numerous flyovers using the airforce's military planes, the presence of two 70-tonne Abrams tanks and other military vehicles, as well as the flags and fireworks - at least $2.5million - could have been put to much better use.

Senator Bernie Sanders tweeted:

"This is what authoritarians do: Donald Trump is taking $2.5 million away from our National Park Service to glorify himself with a spectacle of military tanks rolling through Washington."

Mr Trump tweeted before the event, however, that:

"the expense will be very little compared to what it is worth. And it's worth billions."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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