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Funny satire stories about Big Pharma

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Side-Effect-Free, Comparably Effective Depression Medication: Prescription Placebos

Funny story: Side-Effect-Free, Comparably Effective Depression Medication: Prescription Placebos

After a number of published - or, more often, unpublished - studies called into serious doubt whether antidepressants were any more effective in treating clinical depression than placebos, Big Pharma giant Smerck & Co. transformed a potentially c...

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United States Boasts Skyrocketing Exercise Rates - In Futility

Funny story: United States Boasts Skyrocketing Exercise Rates - In Futility

While less than 25 percent of Americans are getting the recommended amount of most forms of exercise, exercise rates are no less than skyrocketing in one particular area: futility. Kent Bellow, CEO of pharmaceutical giant Smerck & Co., applaud...

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Big Pharma Sues L.A. Comedy Club for Claiming Laughter is Best Medicine

Funny story: Big Pharma Sues L.A. Comedy Club for Claiming Laughter is Best Medicine

Pharmaceutical giant Myzer Inc. filed a lawsuit against Los Angeles comedy club Laugh It Off, seeking to prevent the club from proclaiming in its marketing materials that laughter is the best medicine. “They’re not qualified physicians,” noted Myz...

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Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

Funny story: Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover,...

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New York Man Credits Antidepressants with Saving His Life (or at Least Possibly Helping a Little)

Funny story: New York Man Credits Antidepressants with Saving His Life (or at Least Possibly Helping a Little)

Rich Jones of New York City credits anti-depressant medications with saving his life, or at least, possibly helping a little. "Instead of total despair, i now just feel generally blah," reported Rich. "For that, I have these drugs to thank.” R...

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Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

Funny story: Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

A report published today in JAMA Internal Medicine revealed that that the emotional state of the large majority (63 percent) of Americans is general despondency, but the good news is that only slightly more than one-third (34 percent) are clinically...

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Am I crazy, or am I lead deficient?

Funny story: Am I crazy, or am I lead deficient?

Tel Aviv IL: Pharmer Pharmaceuticals is drawing criticism over an alleged breakthrough psychiatric drug which is touted as a first in it's class. There are currently 3 groups of medications used for epilepsy, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Amon...

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Pfizer Challenges Four Noble Truths of Buddhism Regarding Nature of Suffering

Funny story: Pfizer Challenges Four Noble Truths of Buddhism Regarding Nature of Suffering

In a press release issued late last night, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer officially challenged the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism regarding the existence and nature of suffering, claiming that its prescription medications have rendered these “truths” ob...

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FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Funny story: FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...

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Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Funny story: Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Head of Pharmaceutical multinational giant, Savage Drugs, Inc., Michael Portfolio, praised the United States today as "the indispensable nation, a model for humanity because it is the last bastion of freedom and liberty." He pointed out that his d...

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EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

Funny story: EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

"I'm not a villain," said Heather Avarice, chief executive of Extort Pharmaceuticals, one the few generic drug manufactures left in an oligopolistic industry noted for price gouging. She was speaking at a press conference today at company headquarte...

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Booger Supplement Industry To Grow To 100 Billion By 2020

Funny story: Booger Supplement Industry To Grow To 100 Billion By 2020

The exploding booger supplement industry is predicted to grow to 100 billion dollars within a few years time. While no one has made any money yet, the giants in pharmaceuticals are spending hundreds of millions of dollars: Johnson & Johnson h...

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Big Pharma Wants Slower More Expensive Drugs For Lethal Injection

Funny story: Big Pharma Wants Slower More Expensive Drugs For Lethal Injection

Pharmaceutical titan Pfoozer announced on Friday that they were imposing sweeping controls limiting the use of their drugs for the purpose of execution by lethal injection. They join a growing list of big pharma companies coming out strongly in oppos...

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Commerce Department Approves Big Pharma Merger

Officials at the US Department of Commerce endorsed the largest merger in corporate history by rubber-stamping the paperwork prior to returning it to the roll in the toilet stall at the lavatory down the hall. The amalgamation involved the acquis...

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Doctor and Gambol accused of releasing a Summer Cold Virus

Funny story: Doctor and Gambol accused of releasing a Summer Cold Virus

Doctor and Gambol, the world's largest manufacturer of cold relief medicine, has been accused of genetically engineering a virus that can induce cold symptoms in people during the summer months. "It's not true," said Paul Proctor, head of marketin...

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Walk For Cure Leads To Cure

Funny story: Walk For Cure Leads To Cure

It was just another Walk for the Cure, hundreds of good folks raising money for Kidney Disease research on a bright fall morning. No one could have predicted that this time, the "Walk for the Cure" would actually lead to a cure for one of...

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