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Funny satire stories about Big Pharma

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Funny story: Shrekli Had Prices of Pharmaceutical Products to Reduce World Population, As Well As Other Insurance Companies

Shrekli Had Prices of Pharmaceutical Products to Reduce World Population, As Well As Other Insurance Companies

It is rumored that Martin Shrekli raised the prices of pharmaceutical products to lessen the total world population, being part of a secret organization that shares the same views as he does. Raising the prices of pills that prevented amenable mo...

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Funny story: Bank of America Brags that at Least It Never Sold Oxycontin

Bank of America Brags that at Least It Never Sold Oxycontin

Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan was thrilled to truthfully announce that, apart from the bank's history of fraudulent acts and misuse of customers' cash, at least it never sold the prescription opioid Oxycontin, the highly addictive nature of whic...

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Funny story: Big Pharma Introduces Medication to Cure Creativity

Big Pharma Introduces Medication to Cure Creativity

With a wave of artists and perforners coming out about their experiences with depression, anxiety and other mood disorders, Big Pharma giant Smerck & Co. believes that it has found the solution - by more accurately pinpointing the problem. "Ar...

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Funny story: In Response to Opioid Crisis, Big Pharma Gets to Work on Developing Drugs that Can Be Taken All Day Every Day for Entire Lifetime without Fear of Addiction

In Response to Opioid Crisis, Big Pharma Gets to Work on Developing Drugs that Can Be Taken All Day Every Day for Entire Lifetime without Fear of Addiction

Facing criticism and high-stakes lawsuits from consumers alleging that drug companies intentionally hid the addiction risks of opioids, Big Pharma has announced that it’s gotten to work on developing new painkilling medications that can be taken all...

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Funny story: Side-Effect-Free, Comparably Effective Depression Medication: Prescription Placebos

Side-Effect-Free, Comparably Effective Depression Medication: Prescription Placebos

After a number of published - or, more often, unpublished - studies called into serious doubt whether antidepressants were any more effective in treating clinical depression than placebos, Big Pharma giant Smerck & Co. transformed a potentially c...

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Funny story: United States Boasts Skyrocketing Exercise Rates - In Futility

United States Boasts Skyrocketing Exercise Rates - In Futility

While less than 25 percent of Americans are getting the recommended amount of most forms of exercise, exercise rates are no less than skyrocketing in one particular area: futility. Kent Bellow, CEO of pharmaceutical giant Smerck & Co., applaud...

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Funny story: Big Pharma Sues L.A. Comedy Club for Claiming Laughter is Best Medicine

Big Pharma Sues L.A. Comedy Club for Claiming Laughter is Best Medicine

Pharmaceutical giant Myzer Inc. filed a lawsuit against Los Angeles comedy club Laugh It Off, seeking to prevent the club from proclaiming in its marketing materials that laughter is the best medicine. “They’re not qualified physicians,” noted Myz...

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Funny story: Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

Party Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine

"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover,...

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Funny story: New York Man Credits Antidepressants with Saving His Life (or at Least Possibly Helping a Little)

New York Man Credits Antidepressants with Saving His Life (or at Least Possibly Helping a Little)

Rich Jones of New York City credits anti-depressant medications with saving his life, or at least, possibly helping a little. "Instead of total despair, i now just feel generally blah," reported Rich. "For that, I have these drugs to thank.” R...

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Funny story: Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

Two-Thirds of Americans Are Despondent But Only One-Third Are Clinically Depressed/Suicidal

A report published today in JAMA Internal Medicine revealed that that the emotional state of the large majority (63 percent) of Americans is general despondency, but the good news is that only slightly more than one-third (34 percent) are clinically...

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Funny story: Am I crazy, or am I lead deficient?

Am I crazy, or am I lead deficient?

Tel Aviv IL: Pharmer Pharmaceuticals is drawing criticism over an alleged breakthrough psychiatric drug which is touted as a first in it's class. There are currently 3 groups of medications used for epilepsy, bipolar disorder, and schizophrenia. Amon...

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Funny story: Pfizer Challenges Four Noble Truths of Buddhism Regarding Nature of Suffering

Pfizer Challenges Four Noble Truths of Buddhism Regarding Nature of Suffering

In a press release issued late last night, pharmaceutical giant Pfizer officially challenged the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism regarding the existence and nature of suffering, claiming that its prescription medications have rendered these “truths” ob...

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Funny story: FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

FDA Sounds Health Alarm: Nearly 25 Percent of Americans Are Pathologically Fit and Trim

Late last night, the Food and Drug Administration issued a public health advisory, warning that nearly 25 percent of Americans are pathologically fit and trim - victims of the newly-coined disorder known as "hyper-healthism." "We're at a turning p...

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Funny story: Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Pharmaceutical Chief Mocks America

Head of Pharmaceutical multinational giant, Savage Drugs, Inc., Michael Portfolio, praised the United States today as "the indispensable nation, a model for humanity because it is the last bastion of freedom and liberty." He pointed out that his d...

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Funny story: EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

EpiPen CEO Defends Huge Price Hike

"I'm not a villain," said Heather Avarice, chief executive of Extort Pharmaceuticals, one the few generic drug manufactures left in an oligopolistic industry noted for price gouging. She was speaking at a press conference today at company headquarte...

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Funny story: Booger Supplement Industry To Grow To 100 Billion By 2020

Booger Supplement Industry To Grow To 100 Billion By 2020

The exploding booger supplement industry is predicted to grow to 100 billion dollars within a few years time. While no one has made any money yet, the giants in pharmaceuticals are spending hundreds of millions of dollars: Johnson & Johnson h...

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Funny story: Big Pharma Wants Slower More Expensive Drugs For Lethal Injection

Big Pharma Wants Slower More Expensive Drugs For Lethal Injection

Pharmaceutical titan Pfoozer announced on Friday that they were imposing sweeping controls limiting the use of their drugs for the purpose of execution by lethal injection. They join a growing list of big pharma companies coming out strongly in oppos...

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