Andrew Cuomo Never Paid Hush Money To A Porn Star
He’s a flirt. He’s a little too handy. He likes the ladies, particularly the younger ones, or maybe it’s of all ages, but he never paid money to a porn star, and he didn’t have an affair with a Playboy Bunny weeks after his wife gave birth to a child…
Read full storyLocal Man Accused in Capital Riot Uses Mandela Defense
A local man arrested for his part in the Capital Riot in January has pleaded not guilty today based on his being from “an alternate reality”. Gunter Chang, a local philosophy professor and self-professed trans-dimensional diplomat clarified for the j…
Read full storyLocal Scientist and Teen Arrested for Storming the Capital
An eccentric inventor and local teen were arrested after a high speed chase with police. Tire spikes finally stopped the DeLorean, estimated to have been going in excess of 80 mph in a construction zone Martin McFly, 18, and Dr. Emmett ‘Doc’ Brow…
Read full storyThree American Idol Contestants Are Disqualified
BUENAS NOCHES, California – (Satire News) – The executives of the number one-rated singing show have informed the Hollywood media that they are very disappointed in the latest American Idol edition. Ipso Facto’s Fuchsia Garfunkel was told by an Am…
Read full storyA North Korean Warship Spotted Off The Coast of San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO – (Satire News) – A retired army general who is now on the San Francisco city council has informed the news media that a North Korean warship was spotted off the coast of San Francisco. General Augustus P. Fesstavelli III stated that…
Read full storyMan Has 'That Monday Morning Feeling' On Tuesday
We all know 'that Monday morning feeling', that general detestable loathing at the start of a new week at work which, after a relaxing weekend spent at home or doing some other pleasant activity, grates on one like the proverbial fingernails being sc…
Read full storyWhy Gov. Cuomo Struck Out With The Young Chicks
BILLINGSGATE POST: He had it all. Minus a decent personality, and lacking any discernible redeeming qualities, he somehow managed to be elected Governor of New York. Not of Ivy League material, he graduated from Fordham University, a mediocre…
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