BUENAS NOCHES, California – (Satire News) – The executives of the number one-rated singing show have informed the Hollywood media that they are very disappointed in the latest American Idol edition.
Ipso Facto’s Fuchsia Garfunkel was told by an American Idol source that three of the contestants had been disqualified.
Reports are that Katy Perry was extremely upset, and had to be taken to an emergency clinic to receive some much-needed oxygen.
One singer, identified as Snipper Salamoochie, from Muffin Bush, New Jersey, was caught lip-syncing to the Boy George song “Do You Really Want To Hurt To Me”.
He was doing a good job, until he sneezed in the middle of the song, and instantly gave himself away.
The three judges were all shocked, and Snipper was led out of the judges' room.
It is, as yet, unconfirmed, but a fellow contestant commented that Snipper was allegedly tased out in the parking lot.
Female singer Bunny Jo Tipplemeister, who lives in Squaw Face, Arizona, sang the old Pussy Riot song, “I’ve Got The G-Spot Blues”. Judge Lionel Richie said that her version was the best he’d ever heard.
But, the next day, it was revealed that Bunny Jo was not 21-years-old like she’d said, but was actually 56.
Judge Luke Bryan said that he definitely wants to buy 3 gallons of water from the Squaw Face water tower.
The third individual who got disqualified was the very attractive Stormy Vixowitz, a resident of Corn Shuck, Iowa, who halfway through her song, suddenly took off her clothes and started running around the judges' table, hollering that she didn’t care about auditioning for American Idol, she just wants to find herself a rich husband.
Meanwhile, Katy will be fine, but her doctor told her that he wants her to lose about 20 more pounds of baby fat.