Theresa May to be sent to glue factory
After a long and thankless career in politics, Theresa May is to find peace at last next month when she steps down as Prime Minister. The wrinkly prude will be driven to an abattoir and hoisted roughly onto a flat sawdust-covered table. There a me...
Read full storyTrump Declares War On Iran: Sidewinder Missiles Take Out Camel Caravan
BILLINGSGATE POST: In an extreme example of asymmetric warfare, President Trump retaliated against Iran for attacks on oil tankers in the Persian Gulf by unleashing a barrage of Sidewinder Missiles this morning. Early satellite photos show camel bod...
Read full storyAngela Merkel's Head Melts
There was drama in Germany today, during some abnormally hot weather, when Chancellor Angela Merkel was taken to hospital when her head melted. Merkel, 64, was standing next to Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky in Berlin, listening to the two c...
Read full storyAssange Additionally Charged with Injuring Government Lamp
Not shying away from applying antiquated and little-used statutes in the interest of protecting the United States government from the actions of journalists, federal prosecutors have added a 19th count to the 18-count indictment against Wikileaks fou...
Read full storyWith This New Iran Schlemiel Going On, Now Would Be A Good Time To 'Remember The Maine'. And A Few Other Things.
Now Would Be A Good Time To 'Remember The Maine'. And A Few Other Things. Well, it looks like we are going to get ourselves into another Mid East snafu. Bolton wants to go manu-a-manu with Iran (as long as someone else does the actual fighting. He...
Read full storyLance Armstrong Denies Being First Man On The Moon
The former cyclist Lance Armstrong has reacted angrily to allegations that he was the first man to walk on the Moon. Armstrong, now 47, won the Tour de France an unprecedented seven times in succession between 1999 and 2005, before being exposed a...
Read full storyThe Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals #6: The Housefly
Welcome once again to the complete and utter waste of your precious time that is 'The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals', and this week's subject, after many requests from readers, is the housefly. It was going to be the Kestrel, but isn't...
Read full storyRussia-Gate Follies to open on the boards with Mueller at lead ballerina attended by Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Hillary Clinton
A dazzling show of music, vocals, and ballerinas is slated to parade across the country this coming autumn. Representatives of the mainstream media are also featured, in a tightly grouped little chorus wearing very short ballerina costumes. Som...
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