The Beast Of Barmston Drain
Zoologists have flocked to the ancient fishing city of Kingston Upon Hull after sightings of “The Beast of Barmston Drain” escalated in the past month. Fourteen sightings of the Beast have been reported, and locals are beginning to feel unsafe in the...
Read full storyNew Type Of Vampire Discovered (And They Are In Your Bank!)
A new, terrifying species of vampire has been discovered that has begun a feeding frenzy throughout the world. The horrifying part is that it haunts the least likely of places - your local bank! This vampire is a new one for the books - it feeds n...
Read full storyTrump: The NHS Is Safe
If you’re wondering why a chill has just ran down the backs of all the female members of your family, wonder no more! Dementia-ridden reality TV star turned president, Donald Trump, is in the UK! As usual Donald has had plenty to shout about as he ma...
Read full storyElection U-Turn
The rambling gingerbread man posing as the current Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, performed a radical U-turn today after sensationally pledging to do everything that everybody wants all at the same time. After wolfing down several Kit-Kat Chunkies, h...
Read full storyNashville Man Falls Asleep at Wheel - Fortunately Before Turning on Ignition
The morning after a late-night rendezvous with a new love interest, Nathan Cromwell of Nashville, Tennessee, got into his car to drive to his job at a call center downtown only to fall asleep at the wheel - fortunately before turning on the ignition.
Read full storyHarry Maguire Warned About Christmas Carol Singing Nuisance
The festive season is well-and truly upon us, and not without an early controversy, as Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire and his girlfriend Fern Hawkins have upset some of their neighbours with their own particular brand of...
Read full storyBrexit Party member returns to primaeval soup
A 56-year-old man, who was one of the founder members of the staunch, anti-European Union, Brexit Party, has regressed down the evolutionary scale, and has now returned to the primaeval soup where life on earth first began, 4 billion years ago. Te...
Read full storyToy Shop Recalls Action Man Figures In 'War Crimes' Fiasco
A major toy retailer has recalled millions of play figures after announcing that it had charged Action Man, the toy soldier with gripping hands, and realistic hair and beard, with war crimes against humanity. Toys-R-Bust say the toy, originally cr...
Read full story