The Beast Of Barmston Drain

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 3 December 2019

image for The Beast Of Barmston Drain
Throughout the years several ducks have been killed after being mistaken for the beast

Zoologists have flocked to the ancient fishing city of Kingston Upon Hull after sightings of “The Beast of Barmston Drain” escalated in the past month. Fourteen sightings of the Beast have been reported, and locals are beginning to feel unsafe in their own homes.

Descriptions of the beast vary wildly from possessing large leathery wings, to hovering several meters off the ground and breathing fire. Residents have begun a neighbourhood watch campaign after the Beast was spotted leaping over a footbridge in the industrial estate area.

The Barmston Drain and connecting industrial estate covers almost three quarters of the Kingston Upon Hull area, and many legends have sprung up around the polluted canals and abandoned factories. But none have captured Hull's imagination as much as the Beast. The first sighting of he Beast was in 1780, when Harry Holdroyd of Sculcoates saw a bright red monster charging through knee-high water towards him.

Harry went onto state the beast leapt at him with flashing claws aimed for his throat. Drawing his rapier, he deflected the attack wide and it fled up the embankment. Harry noticed that he’d scored a wound on the Beast, and that his weapon and cloak were stained with the blue blood of the monster.

Over 200 years later, the Beast is seemingly going strong with sightings still being reported to this day, and show no signs of abating.

Stanley Dearing, famous cryptozoologist and duck breeder, has been camped out in the drain area for the past month in the hope of catching a glimpse of the Beast. Dearing said:

"It’s a rather exciting experience to be so close to actually discovering a real live cryptozoological specimen and proving everyone wrong! Especially my parents, I’d love to ram their disappointment right down their throats!"

The search continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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