Brexit Party member returns to primaeval soup

Written by Clive Danton

Tuesday, 3 December 2019

image for Brexit Party member returns to primaeval soup
Mr Carter pictured at a Brexit Party rally last week

A 56-year-old man, who was one of the founder members of the staunch, anti-European Union, Brexit Party, has regressed down the evolutionary scale, and has now returned to the primaeval soup where life on earth first began, 4 billion years ago.

Terence Carter, unemployed, from Whitechapel in East London, began to show signs of morphing into a shapeless life form just a few weeks after joining the party, led by leading Brexit cheerleader, Nigel Farage, last July.

His wife, Melissa, 52, told newsmen: "Shortly after getting his Brexit Party literature and enamel badge through the post, I began to notice changes in Terry.

"At first, he began speaking a lot more slowly than usual. Then, after a few days, he lost the power of speech altogether, and began communicating with a series of grunts and hand signals.

"It was around this time that I noticed a huge increase in his body hair, and his forehead began to stick out a lot more than it used to.

"One day, I came home from work, and he was unable to walk upright, and was crawling around in the kitchen on all fours.

"He took to staying out in the garden a lot, swinging on the hanging tyre that we'd made for the dog.

"It all ended when I came back from shopping and spotted him floating on the top of the pond.

"At first, I thought he was a bit of frog spawn, but when I hooked him out, and looked through my magnifying glass, I could see it was him by his beady little eyes and a fragment of his cloth cap.

"I'm not that sorry he's returned to the primordial soup where life first began, to be honest. He'd changed a lot since he joined that Brexit lot.

"He was quite a nice man when I first met him, but all he's done over the last few months is sit in front of the TV, slagging off Michel Barnier, and when he wasn't doing that, he was stamping around the house having a go at the blacks."

This incident comes just two weeks after a man from neighbouring Stepney gradually morphed into a gibbon after attending a series of meetings of the United Kingdom Independence Party.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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