Sexual Misconduct Amongst Elderly More Popular Due To Kavanaugh Case
Sexual misconduct amongst the over-75s is on the increase due to the extensive coverage of the case against beleaguered Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh, it has been claimed. Hans Zimmerframe, a man who knows a lot of old people, said: "T...
Read full storyNun steps forward from the old days to defend Judge Kavanaugh
Immediately following the Senate Judiciary Committee's confirmation of Mr. Kavanaugh, Senate investigators are urging caution. A new witness, Sister Rose, has appeared from the past, in support of Mr. Kavanaugh, and just in time for the complete...
Read full storyWanted: Young inexperienced Naïve Fool Java Programmer
San Francisco, CA - Want Add Wanted: young foolish inexperienced Java Programmer willing to work with Eclipse IDE. You’ll be paid handsomely in this position, (bending over or on your knees), enough to share a room with only five other guys, or whatever things they call the natives here. Experienced need not apply. We don’t want anyone smarter than the hiring manager since he is a fr...
Read full storyKavanaugh Case In New Twist As British Actor Called As Witness
The Brett Kavanaugh episode took an unexpected new twist this afternoon, when the besieged Supreme Court nominee called a character witness to appear before the Senate Judiciary Committee - British actor John Thaw (deceased), star of the 1991-1995 IT...
Read full storySlim Everdingle: Sexually Savaged By Three Liberal Swamp Rats.
BILLINGSGATE POST: It was just another long night for Slim Everdingle and Detrick “Dirty Trick” Detwiler. Surreptitiously parked in the vintage Studebaker Champion that had served them well since 1951, Slim sat hunched over the steering wheel while munching on a stale, chocolate, old fashion Dunkin' Donut. Dirty, reeking of two-day old underwear, added to the odiferous atmosphere by squeezing off...
Read full storyGranny Needs A Pussy Pounding
Yes, I'm old. Old as dirt. Fortunately, it's still proper etiquette for a woman not to have to reveal her age, so I won't. I will say, I'm old enough to remember when women protested the objectification, suppression, and dominance of men by burning bras in America's streets. I gleefully threw my symbol of male bondage on the burning alter of women's rights. I admit, not much of an offering at the...
Read full storyCigarettes To Blame For World's Problems
In a world full of terrorism, mass shootings, turmoil, stress, and increasing pressure, the 'Council of Concentrated Knowledge' (COCK) has combined its efforts with the 'Fundamentally United Cancer Knockers' (FUCK) to try to permanently eliminate smo...
Read full storyTrump Appoints Bill Cosby To Supreme Court
President Trump signed an executive order, bypassing the confirmation process, and placing the former actor as judge for life on the nation's highest judiciary body. "I like rapists who win," said the serial perv, "not losers who let the victim ge...
Read full storyBoot Throwing contest in Manchester goes viral
A brand-new sport, soon to be televised live all over the planet, has millions of followers already on social media and its founder members a not so 'Special One' and another not so 'Special One' are marketing the sport with impunity! The latest s...
Read full storyWellness Experts Suggest Comparing Yourself To Others
“Don’t compare yourself to others, it’s not a competition.” For years, these words were considered by many to be a foundation to a better life. However, in a recent nationwide poll, it would appear that we were wrong. Many leading wellness experts have come forward to confirm that not only will comparing yourself to others better your quality of life, but it will also decrease your need for social...
Read full storyGruesome Murder Reconstruction Ends In Gruesome Murder
Police supervising a TV documentary murder reconstruction of an unsolved slaying that happened 20 years ago, have egg on their faces this evening, after a second murder took place in exactly the same manner as the first one. In Epsom, back in 199...
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