Nun steps forward from the old days to defend Judge Kavanaugh

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 28 September 2018

Immediately following the Senate Judiciary Committee's confirmation of Mr. Kavanaugh, Senate investigators are urging caution.

A new witness, Sister Rose, has appeared from the past, in support of Mr. Kavanaugh, and just in time for the complete senate vote Tuesday.

Sister Rose has known the Judge from when he was a boy attending church.

The memorabilia including her photograph has led some Republican Senators on the Committee to hesitate anew.

Senator Flake apparently murmured, "Perhaps the FBI should investigate?"

But Senator Graham was not one of those, saying he was "tired of working over the same old ground with no evidence."

A survey of the populace on whether there should be a delay on next Tuesday's vote indicates a 50-50 split on this matter.

Invective, screaming, assumptions, smearing, threats, new security issues, calls to investigate the Pope and the Catholic Church have swarmed into news media sites across the globe.

Once again, on the basis of "he said/she said" there is no clear way to adjudicate this new development.

Sister Rose insists the photo was dug out of an old collection in her attic, and shows the sort of "pranks boys will play."

She insists it is a photo-shop from that time indicating a "spirit of fun and happiness."

This would include Mr. Kavanaugh's revelry in his yearbook, including the multiple F's references, which he clarified as not a play on a boy's classic 4F's reference to girls, but to a classmate's stuttering.

Sister Rose added:

"They also played with saying, 'Sister Rose rises, rouses, and comes to our rescue! But all in a spirit of boys will be boys!"

However, some (anonymous) within her clergy say the nun was "a bit of a wild one back in the day."

They insist the image is NOT photo-shopped but an actual photo of the Sister attending one of the boys' parties back in the 1980s.

Was there any physical contact between the Sister and the boys?

Sister Rose: "Oh, no, no, no, no! It was all harmless. I went along to their parties to add a little moral supervision and good sense that kept them from going too far."

Does Sister Rose at this time (now somewhat elderly) smoke cigarettes and consume Jack Daniels?

"Only once in a while when stressed," she answered.

Special prosecutor Rachel Mitchell may be recalled for further questioning prior to next Tuesday.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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