Melania Trump Faces Indictment on Witchcraft
WASHINGTON DC - Representatives for the FBI have announced that First Lady Melania Trump may be implicated on capital crimes related to Witchcraft and Russian Collusion in the 2016 US Presidential Election. Although a large number of law enforcem...
Read full storyWile E Mueller To Be Indicted For Collusion With ACME Corp
BILLINGSGATE POST: The quietness of the Sonoran Desert was broken by the muffled silence of mice nibbling on cream cheese. Even though their teeth had been capped with rubber tips, sounds of rodent mastication bounced off canyon walls like thunder. Although the Armadillos indigenous to this hostile environment had been unarmed by dissident anti-arm vigilantes, there was no peace in the desert.
Read full storyDrone Shaved Man's Beard
A low-flying drone being operated in the vicinity of Gatwick Airport, is said to have flown so low, that it was able to pick out an individual target and shave off the whole of his fullsome beard. The man, Dave Harris, a portly gentleman of around...
Read full storyParty Time as Makers of Viagra, Chapstick and Sensodyne Toothpaste Combine
"It's a no-brainer. Who wouldn't want to sell all the ingredients for the after-party? Viagra for that long lasting erection, along with Sensodyne for oral health, and Chapstick to moisten those dry, cracked lips. We also do Panadol for the hangover,...
Read full storyRaiders May Move to Hawaii, Play in Volcano
With a nod to his late father, Al Davis, son Mark, owner of the Oakland Raiders, is negotiating a deal with Honolulu business and sports interests, that involves moving the Raiders from Oakland to Hawaii next season. That would leave Las Vegas, where...
Read full storyGame Of Thrones Leaks Will Infuriate Producers
Fans of HBO drama, Game Of Thrones, have been frantically sweeping the pages of satirical news website, TheSpoof.com, this morning, after it was revealed that details of the final GOT series, which will be shown on Sky Atlantic in April 2019, had bee...
Read full storyApes Will Speak English, Say Scientists
Apes will soon be able to develop sufficiently to converse with humans, say expert animo-lingusitic experts, and will almost certainly speak English. Members of the ape family have long been known to resemble humans in many other areas, and their...
Read full storyTrump Denies Rumors that He Is the Antichrist
"Nonsense," scoffed President Donald Trump in response to widely-circulating rumors that he may be the Antichrist. “Granted, I may be a little abrasive, but I’m not the Antichrist.” “Or Satan,” he clarified. The rumors that Trump could in fact...
Read full storyCBS Agrees to Provide Les Moonves with "Jelly of the Month" Membership in lieu of $120 Million Year-End Bonus
Hollywood - CBS Corporation, which recently fired disgraced former CEO Leslie Moonves over allegations from multiple women of sexual harassment, announced a proposed settlement of bonuses and stock options set aside for the former executive one week...
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