Prince Andrew has mixed-species baby says Brit tabloid
London - A flagshit - ok, flagship - organ of the British Establishment is publishing pictures of a new royal baby believed to be a Prince Andrew-Baboon hybrid. The London Sunday Smearer says three year-old olive baboon (Papio anubis) Samantha Ban...
Read full storyNew sex scandal grips British royals
London - A new pervy scandal is about to erupt after top Establishment toff Sir Bunty Luftwaffe KGB & Bar was caught with his panzers down at Buckingham Palace. Three shagged-for-shit corgis had to be euthanised along with the Queen's Official...
Read full story"Pig Castrator" Attacked By Bill Mahr
The typical Republican response as to how they stand on climate change is to say, "I'm not a scientist." It is for example, the position of Most GOP House members like Jonie "pig castrator" Earnst who has said "I've not seen proven proof." She gave...
Read full storyAl Gore: a man of his times for all time
Al Gore, who is affectionately known as Igor, serviced President Bill Clinton from 1993-2001, sometimes alongside White House interim Monica ("The Mouth") Lewinsky or First Lady Hillary Rodham. Prior to servicing Clinton, Gore invented the Internet; since leaving his position as Vice-President , Gore invented not only Global Warming but Climate Change, earning millions of dollars from the patents...
Read full storyBill Clinton Honors The Man Who Invented "The Oral Contraceptive"
Bill Clinton has come out to lead the honors being bestowed on the eminent chemist Carl Djerassi, the scientist who developed the first contraceptive pill. Bill Clinton commented: "No one has done more for horny men worldwide than Carl Djerassi! I...
Read full storyPresident Obama Issues Executive Order Directing All US Drivers to Switch to the Left
WASHINGTON, DC - US President Barack Obama issued an executive order today, directing all US drivers to switch to the left side. The executive order states that the switch will be implemented gradually, so Americans are not shocked, but will conti...
Read full storyHuman's Early Warning Asshole Detectors Rule Out Another Romney Try as Mitt Romney's Asshole Detector Finally Kicks In!
Mitt Romney reminded me of how genetically sensitive most of us are in detecting "An Asshole". Darwin probably would have said it was a critical part of the natural selection process and connected to our most basic human reproduction drives. I mean -you don't want to reproduce with an asshole because your children will most likely become assholes (just look around) If Darwin DIDN'T think of this...
Read full storySuicide Bomber Escapes From Paradise - Says It Sucks!
Osama Bin Tuchas has escaped from Paradise and boy is he pissed off, claims Brigadier General Moishe Pipick a spokesman for Mossad. (Israeli's intelligence service) He stated: "Osama arrived in paradise expecting his promised pool full of hot Virg...
Read full storyKaty Perry Spent A Lot Of Time Contemplating Just What Her Super Bowl Act Would Be
Katy Perry spent a lot of time considering what she would do for the Super Bowl. "Maybe I should do a French Kiss with another superstar like Brittany Spears and Madonna did. I wonder if Taylor Swift would be available for that? Or should I do an underwear-less limo exit like Brittany did that one time? That got a lot of coverage." A lot of money and concern is spent by performers and by the NF...
Read full storyPope hopes to clean up
To show the compassion of the church, Pope Frances ordered Vatican barbers to offer homeless men and women a shave and a haircut for "two bits" (twenty-five cents). The proceeds, the pontiff said, will be added to the church's "coffers," except in th...
Read full storyComing soon, from the Halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli: Elena the Latina!
HURRAY for HOLLYWEIRD!, CA -- Dizney Studios "is proud," Donald Duck quacks, "to introduce our first Latina princess, Elena." According to Duck, the princess' debut will occur in "Sofia The First," an episode of Dizney Jr. Why isn't the episode...
Read full storyMale Rights Groups - Husbands To Have Option Of Routinely Giving Birth
Genetically engineered organs have been developed which will allow fathers to give birth to babies three at a time in a Commercial Tyre Bay, Garage or any car Pit Stop. The organs will be available online and will plug into a USB socket transplan...
Read full storyMerkel's urgent request
Jaggedone's CIA received and urgent request from Angela Merkel early this morning after Vetoing any possibility of Greece not paying back trillions of Euro's to the European Central Banks and others. She has asked our top fashion designer, Gorgeo...
Read full storyObama Introduces Educational Reforms
To a packed gathering of invited newspaper journalists at the Press Room of the White House, President Obama has announced sweeping reforms of the U.S. education system. The speech was greeted by rapturous applause,... except for one man whom security had to bundle from the hall for swearing obscenities about "lies!", "damned hypocrisy!", and "fascist mind control!". Here is the speech in fu...
Read full storyQueen Maxima of Holland divulges the truth!
Dutch HQ of Jaggedone's CIA global army... Exclusive interview with Queen Maxima of Holland! Our Dutch star scumbag scandal reporter, Johann Crutch van Amsterdamned has infiltrated the royal palace in The Hague and forced Queen Maxima to give the following interview; she hates bugs! "Queen Maxima how the fuck did you become queen of Holland" Queen Maxima: "I did 5 things and here th...
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