London - A flagshit - ok, flagship - organ of the British Establishment is publishing pictures of a new royal baby believed to be a Prince Andrew-Baboon hybrid.
The London Sunday Smearer says three year-old olive baboon (Papio anubis) Samantha Banana gave birth to the couple's little bastard late last night.
The offspring becomes the latest member of the family Cercopithecidae (Old World monkeys) to mate with the royals since the highly unfortunate Botswanan outbreak of '69.
Commenting on the happy event a Palace midwife described the nipper as having a delightful furry coat in a traditional royal shade of greenish-grey.
Its chubby little snout is covered in cure little coarse hairs ranging from dark grey to black in color and like most cercopithecines it has a cheek pouch with which to store food.
"In profile it's definitely got the Queen's nose," royal midwife Nurse Fang Boleyn tweeted this evening.
That makes it about 69th in line to Elizardbirth's throne.
