Rush Limbaugh Says Drinking Age Should be 35 - Early Drinking Ruined His life!
He told Fox news today while visiting the Koch Brothers at Their Ranch in Aspen Colorado: - "If I had not started drinking at 18 I would not be sitting here around the pool with my best pals the Koch Brothers and getting drunk and high out of my Gourd on Oxycotin with four Russian Hookers!" "These libtards are so fcking permissive with their liberal spawn that they can get away with anything!"...
Read full storyOrdure of the Two Hump Camel for Prince Charles from new Saudi King
Jeddah, Saudi Arabia - It's been a right royal night of fawning by Prince Charles of LegoverLand, Windsor, over newly fumigated King Smoked Salman, latest Shaikh of Araby. Charles is visiting the despot's Petro-Kingdom for a second time since the...
Read full storyKanye West Forces Walmart Employee of The Month to Give Award To Beyonce
Kanye West has accused Walmart of "disrespecting shelf stacking" by handing Dave Goddard of Fort Lauderdale an employee of the month award instead of Beyonce, after interrupting the awards ceremony, held in the break room of the superstore located so...
Read full storyLucky Butterflies - Reprise for Glitter's Future Victims
Poor old Garry Glitter is sadly selling the house he recently purchased in Rotherham, mainly to pay for his prison comforts. In one of his last interviews in 2014, Garry stated he was going to retire to Rotherham and pursue his life long passion of b...
Read full storyConfessions to Gay Priests Don't Count says Pope Francis
In an amazing revelation from His Eminence in the Vatican today; The Pope asserted during an interview with the Catholic Times Magazine, that Catholics who gave their confessions to Homo Priests would not be absolved from their sins -- he stated; "Priests who have been found outa to be queers have no standing with Goda, and any absolutions whicha they gave --are null and voida!" Catholic Ti...
Read full storyNew Sexy Religious Shows Debut On Cable
TV Land's The CornHole Man, debuting June 20, which will attempt to capture the reality of all the Christian Fundamentalist hypocrisy and bullshit stars Cedric the Entertainer as a former R&B music star who returns to his Christian roots as pasto...
Read full storyKanye West Planning To Storm Oscar Stage If Beyonce Doesn't Win Best Actress Award
Rapper, trophy husband and all round 'cock' Kanye West, who reprized his infamous stunt at Sunday night's Grammy awards, by unexpectedly taking the Staples Center stage as Beck was accepting the Album of the Year award has told friends (hangers on)...
Read full storyHarvard Faculty Resign En Masse over New Sex Rules--"If we can't bonk our students," say professors, "what's the point of being here?"
Cambridge-Nearly half the faculty at Harvard (49.2%) have submitted their resignations to the college over its new policy forbidding sexual relations with students. The group includes LGBT professors and graduate instructors alike, who say that t...
Read full storyF***ing asteroids all over my birth chart moans Madonna
Los Angeles - A bunch of crazy asteroids is wreaking havoc with Material Girl's birth chart according to her astrologer. Last week a tricky brush-past of her 12th House of Natal Tragedies by mini-planetoid Melopomene was detected by Bunty Aurora,...
Read full storyIsle Of Wight News - "The Needles" - Did Greeks Buy Them For $26 million For Elgin Marbles Exchange
The Greek government is refusing to comment on reports that it has bought "The Needles", a major tourist attraction with its own Chili Dog stall and cable car system. The attraction, stolen last week from the Isle of Wight, turned up at a famous...
Read full storyThe Big Woop's Nefarious Plot to Undermine Capitalism
The national magazine sold exclusively by the homeless, Big Woop, has faced many damning criticisms in its time. Allegations abound of aggressive selling techniques which are harming the Universal Beltway Interest of Our Common Humanity and/or that of the Golden Pigsty (or, if you prefer, of the Houses of Perishing in Warminster). And you have you forgotten already about the millions of peo...
Read full storyDruid Jihad: Radical Islamism Takes Polytheistic Turn
Hamish Leonardo Kraftwerker Magee, Chief Druid of Dumfries, (previously known as Third Baron Trevelyan Montague of High Wycombe), has narrowly escaped being sent to Guantanamo bay on the grounds of being a jihadist militant. In in his inimitable...
Read full storyFrom our Hack at the G-Jolly Summit
RastaPutin: Hey, Bummer, you like Ukraine? :grin: Obummer: Where is it? :confused: RastaPutin: Oh vvck me! Is my vvcking holiday place. Black sea, u know, Crime no? :weary: Obummer: Oh yeh! Your dacha hangout, youre welcome. :sunglasses: :wink: :v: RastaPutin: Vot about middle east? :muscle: :blush: Obummer: Now were talkin. You need to fuck off out of there, that's ours. :angry: :u...
Read full storySierra leone closes borders to USA travellers fearing measles epidemic
Emergency measures are in effect this week as Sierra leone closed its borders to all American citizens, fearing the spread of measles which is ravaging most of the USA. The deadly disease which is spread by Autism vaccinations which are mandatory...
Read full storyBrian Williams Fondly Recalls Winning Olympic Gold Medal, Winning Oscar & Landing On The Moon
"NBC Nightly News" anchor Brian Williams could face new questions this week over differing versions of a story he repeatedly told about winning an Olympic Gold Medal in 1976. The Washington Post reported late Sunday that Williams has given differi...
Read full storyGerman Dominatrix Handcuffs Obama To Podium: 50 Shades Of Ukraine
BILLINGSGATE POST: German Chancellor Angela Merkel performed a dominatrix hat trick on willing participant Barack Obama as Vladimir Putin watched on with bemused interest. With the fate of Ukraine hanging in balance, President Barack Obama allowed...
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