Jeddah, Saudi Arabia - It's been a right royal night of fawning by Prince Charles of LegoverLand, Windsor, over newly fumigated King Smoked Salman, latest Shaikh of Araby.
Charles is visiting the despot's Petro-Kingdom for a second time since the previous King snuffed it a few weeks back.
"Of course, the new Saudi monarch doesn't give a toss about Charles' arrival," our man at the British Embassy said, "on account of being partially brain-dead with Alzheimers.
"And/or tanked up on crystal meth."
Courtiers have been sworn to secrecy about the two day visit arranged hurriedly in the wake of the crude oil price collapse.
Charles is believd to have lost a packet on alternative energy futures after backing daft windfarms in outer space.
Unfortunately his principal backer was the late King Abdullah whose lawful successor King Salmon en Croute is now calling in the loan plus interest of twenty per cent.
"Maybe Prince Charles can refinance the original investment," our man at the Embassy said, "I hear that a major Swiss private bank owned by HSBC has plenty of dosh."
Syria's Bash-Ear al-Ass Sad is 69.
