London Whale Helps The Spoof! Profits Go Through The Roof!
London, England - The two JP Morgan financial analysts, known collaboratively as the London Whale, have seemingly overnight, helped boost the profit margins of one of the very journalistic institutions which has been taking the piss out of them for n...
Read full storyMayo Clinic study:72% of men who hate Hillary Clinton diagnosed with PE (Pussy Envy)
Mayo Clinic revealed a new study this morning which found that 72% of the men who claimed to literally hate Hillary Clinton were afflicted with PE (pussy envy). Dr. T. J. McCorkle, spokesman for the clinic, stated that the syndrome was similar to...
Read full storyJimmy Savile - Case Closed!
The Jimmy Savile Inquiry into paedophilia that has been ongoing since October 2012 has been officially closed. Sir Winston Pike conducting the inquiry said that the case has been officially closed from lack of reliable evidence. "After due consul...
Read full storySpring City Man Crosses Road. Gets to Other Side
Charles "Chick" Engals, life long Spring City, PA native left his home last week after telling his wife that he would return, she said, in an hour or so. After asking him where he was going, his response to her was, as always, that he was going to...
Read full storyPittsburgh Area Commuter Breaks Down
A Pittsburgh area commuter bus suffered a severe breakdown during it's morning run yesterday, leaving 75 passengers stranded during rush hour. The 8:41 Forbes Street left on schedule, but about 5 minutes into it's run, the bus suddenly shuddered, sho...
Read full storyWoman Locates Missing Socks
(Frackville, PA) Shelley Hoax, 74 and a life-long resident of Frackville, PA, unexpectedly discovered "every damn sock" that she believed she had misplaced for the past 50 years. She came across the find Saturday morning completely by surprise.
Read full storyEagle Attacks Amazon Drone, Makes Off With Spanx and Bullets!
Flagstaff, Arizona - The Northern Arizona town of Flagstaff, near The Grand Canyon, has been selected as one of the test cities for Amazon Inc.'s new drone delivery service. And it didn't take long for man's flying bird to go toe-to-toe with Mother N...
Read full storyHot Wheels Inc. To Take Over Broken Nat'l Hot Rod Assoc.
Gainesville, FL - The troubled National Hot Rod Association has been running out of gas and getting lapped by NASCAR and Formula 1 Auto Racing for the last three decades, but the folks over at Hot Wheels, Inc. think they have the solution to turn the...
Read full storyHemorrhoid Piercings: The Deadly Trend Sweeping America!
Los Angeles, CA - Humans, much like gorillas: are interested, influenced, and educated by viewing recordings of their own species copulating on monitors. Humans love pornography and it influences the sex practices they engage in. Unless the last porn...
Read full storyRory Takes Another Swing at Wozniacki!
Dublin, Ireland - Most journalists covering the sporting world thought it would never happen, but it has - Irish Golfer Rory Mcilroy has taken the star tennis player, Caroline Wozniacki, back into his well-pumped biceps. We had our Ace-In-The-Hol...
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