ISIS aim to take over the UK through sperm
After the news that Britain is running out of sperm donors ISIS have moved quickly to fill the gap, sending jihadists back to the UK not to blow anything up, but to blow off. "We are a patient terrorist group," said ISIS leader, Al an Ansen. "As w...
Read full storyNopology: Or, How to Retract a Racist Remark by a Republican
It came out on Facebook this week, at the website Addicting Information, that a Republican, Rusty DePass, replied to a post made on Facebook in 2009 by someone named Trey Walker. Walker's post was, "Just heard there is a gorilla loose at Riverbanks Zoo. Staff and visitors hiding. Full lockdown. Wow." Rusty Depass, a GOP activist and former chairman of the state elections commission in South Ca...
Read full storySpotlight falls on Bill Cosby's humongous zits
New York - A sordid sex scandal has suddenly thrust Bill Cosby's face under the spotlight focusing media attention on a plantation of zits dug in deep on both sides of the entertainer's cheeks. This weekend the BlackheadPopperzAnonymous.con websi...
Read full storyISIS Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi holds secret meeting in Mosul to consider new avenues on to the world stage
In a stunning development that bodes well for world peace as we approach this Christmas time, world famous football team Manchester United has revealed a recruiting drive aimed at Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, head of ISIS. A representative of Manchester...
Read full storyFans in uproar as Dr Who is suspended by General Medical Council for "touching a Dalek's wand"
Camp British adventurer Dr. Who has been suspended for 6 months by the GMC Fitness to Practise Panel after being found guilty of "touching a Dalek's wand". The unnamed Dalek alleged that the incident a few years ago, telling the Panel "THA DOKTA T...
Read full storyIt's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!
Due to the continuing hammering they are receiving from both Aldi and Lidl the big four Supermarkets namely, Tesco, ASDA, Morrison's and Sainsbury's are each vying for what will be left of the Christmas market once people have stocked up via their Ge...
Read full storyPhilae Comet Lander Was Sponsored By Extreme Tumble Drying Organization
After the "Extreme Sports Tumble Drying Club" admitted its clandestine sponsorship of the Rosetta "on comet" space clothes drying mission, the mission ground to a halt yesterday. The Rosetta spacecraft's landing module, Philae, a $2m black bodywork...
Read full storyMy Husband Is Not Having An Affair - Is This Normal?
Auntie Jean I recently found evidence of what I think is fidelity on my husband's mobile phone. On scanning down the numbers and call logs, there were clearly no suspicious or unknown call records, texts or contact numbers. My friends at the sewing circle have advised me to take steps to try to end this intolerable situation amicably, but I want a good old fashioned fight to bring it all out in...
Read full storyEast Enders To Be Re-Made As Bodice Ripper After Success Of Downtown Abbey
East Enders, Corrie, Top Gear, Emmerdale and Hollyhocks are all to be re-written and re-hashed as "Bodice Rippers" where evil 'Sir Jaspers' will regularly impregnate serving wenches and well liked characters will get nasty diseases for tear jerkin...
Read full storyHollywood Movie on Banking... the Whole Nine Yards!
A new film "The Banker" is set to make Hollywood history. Starring Kevin Costner, Al Pacino, Joe Pizza, Marcella Pretzel and Kevin Downey Junior... this could be the film of the decade. It lifts the lid off the American banking fraternity for good. A...
Read full storyKeith Richards was my role model says park bench hobo
New York - "I spent my formative years staring at vids of Keith Richards crashed out on the living room couch," reclusive Central Park vagrant Wally Richards said today, "it's what inspired me to a life of booze and drugs." The comments come amid...
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