Pimp your fridge freezer for 10 quid
Shopping list: flourescent paint spray X2, Stanley or box cutter knife, blowtorch. Essentially its a matter of removing the silencing rubber feet from the compressor tank and taking off one of the four refrigerator feet to mske a resounding rattle with plenty of street cred. Spray the fridge freezer with any pattern of flourescent paint and carry out the other mods. Remove all seals from the f...
Read full storyGilbert Gottfried Found Living In A Rundown Trailer House In Arkansas
MAGNOLIA, Arkansas - Former comedian Gilbert Gottfried has said that he never realized that he could have been so dumb, so stupid, and so utterly ignorant as to try and make a joke out of the devastating Japanese tsunami of 2010. Gottfried's joke...
Read full storyStephen Colbert praises "Big Brother" Obama
ATLANTA, GA - Stephen Colbert said he's "fine" with the National Security Agency (NSA) knowing about his "privates," i. e., private and personal information, such as whether he's lesbian (he's not), gay (who would care?), bisexual (he could be), tran...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Begs Dancing With The Stars To Let Him Be A Dance Contestant This Season
HOLLYWOOD - The host of Dancing With The Stars, Tom Bergeron has just informed the Hollywood media that he received a text message from Justin Bieber. Bergeron said that Bieber begged him to please pull some strings so that he can join the cast of...
Read full storyCôte de Pablo's baby could be born as early as Pancake Day
Los Angeles - Looking absolutely gorgeous in a stunning $100,000 blue Valentino gown and priceless diamond teardrop earrings a heavily pregnant Cote de Pablo arrived at the Oscars on Sunday on the arm of long term boyfriend Diego Serrano. "Is tha...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Warns President Obama He Better Keep His Nose Out of The Ukraine Situation
PYONGYANG, North Korea - In what many foreign press correspondents are calling a very amazing statement, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has warned the United States to stay out of Russia's business with the Ukraine. Kim Jong Un speaking at his Pr...
Read full storyTwo Shot at Fifth Year Birthday Celebration for the Tea Party
WASHINGTON, DC--This week at the Hyatt Regency the Tea Party Patriots of America celebrated their fifth year anniversary, an event which ended in tragedy as two of its members were shot dead after a dispute over the birthday cake designed for the cel...
Read full storyRussian spook defects to the US, names 'hundreds' on double-agent NOC list
Washington - A senior KGB official in the Kremlin's Department for Michelle Obama Affairs has been outed as a turncoat after accepting a huge US bribe to identify sleepers who've slipped one past US Homeland Insecurity checks. This weekend under...
Read full storyDead man returns to life, craving blood
JACKASS, MS -- Seventy-eight-year-old Walter Williams has cheated the Grim Reaper. Pronounced "dead" five days ago by a doctor whose credentials are "under review" by the Amerikan Medical Association, Williams was on the embalming table, about to be...
Read full storyGreta Van Susteren finds clarity
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - Scientologist and Fox News "hostess with the mostest," Greta Van Susteren cleared the air recently by challenging her male colleagues' belief in the natural superiority of men over women. "Have these idiots lost their minds?...
Read full storyBook Review - The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Initially I found this difficult to read as I has mislaid my reading glasses, but once I found them (they were sitting on top of my head) I found reading it easier. What helped further was replacing a flickering light bulb that was really annoying me. Thirdly I needed to wait until the bandages were removed from my hands after an incident involving an otter, several boy scouts and a woman na...
Read full storyBook Review - Babe, The Gallant Pig by Dick King-Smith
I loved this book! I loved the pig in this book, he was extremely brave and as the title suggest, gallant. Made me think twice about my future interactions (if I have any) with farmyard pigs. It really made me hungry though. After I finished reading it I headed straight to the kitchen and cooked me up some pork sausage and some pork chops and while all that was cooking I made myself a...
Read full storyMemoirs of Hadrian by Maugerite Yourcenar
My favorite bit of this memoir was when Hadrian decided to build a 2 feet high wall to keep Scottish people out of England that stretched across the country. Unfortunately it only kept out Scottish dwarfs as the normal sized Scotsmen simply stepped over this ill thought barricade and headed straight to London where they set up home in Tube Stations, drinking whiskey and occasionally throwing u...
Read full storyBook Review - The Bible by God
A kind of heavy read with a lot of references to death, plague and famine. There are some references to slavery, sex and there are parts of this book that I felt contained too many references to violence and torture. Split into two parts I found part two far more entertaining than part one, especially with the introduction of the 'Jesus' character. Not much happens for the first thirty y...
Read full storyBook Review - Paris by Alan Tillier
I have mixed feelings about this book. While it provided an adequate description of Paris (though did fail to mention the often aloof and rude Parisians who made NO attempt to speak to me in English, which you would have thought they would have, as when they come to the USA or other English speaking countries we speak to them in English!)and it did provide maps and useful information, for Pari...
Read full storyIrish Winter Olympic details confirmed
At a press conference held in the Ballysmackadoo Town Hall, the Minister for Sport, Paddy Fields, together with a celebrity panel line up of Bono, Chris de Burgh, Van Morrison and the late President De Valera announced the venues and sport competitio...
Read full storyIn recruitment drive, Israeli soldiers "drop trou"
JERUSALEM, Israel - In a recruitment drive gone awry, female Israeli soldiers dropped the trousers of their camouflage battle dress uniforms to moon photographers. The soldiers were wearing thong panties, rather than military-issued skivvies, however...
Read full storyHillary Clinton sues over nude photo
NEW YAWK - Failed presidential candidate and controversial former secretary of state, Hillary Clinton recently had an employee of Bare It All Glamor Shots fired for having had the "temerity to photograph" her while she was naked. The employee, Joh...
Read full storyBill Clinton disses Obummer
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC - During the previous presidential election, former president Bill Clinton suppressed his true feelings for his wife's arch rival. To project the appearance of political unity within the Demcats Party, Clinton refrained from criti...
Read full storyHollywood Might Assist Ukranians By Filming Tennyson Poem
KIEV-Reports indicate that Arseniy Yatsenyuk, the acting prime minister of the beleagured nation of Ukraine, and acting president Oleksandr Turchynov, have appealed to an unlikely source for help in their attempt to keep Russian military forces a...
Read full story"Hottest MILF Award" not a category at this year's Oscars
Since it's creation in the 1970's the "Hottest MILF Award" has been a coverted trophy for actresses at the Oscars. However, it had always courted controversy and now the award is to no longer be a category at this year's film ceremony. Critics had...
Read full storyClosing Ceremony in Crimea highlights Coalition failure
David Cameron faced stern questioning during PMQs on Friday when asked to explain why, two years on, the Coalition government has yet to take full advantage of the London 2012 legacy. Stark comparisons have been drawn after Russia rode the wave of...
Read full storyMexico Announces They Will Ship Their Illegal Aliens From Central America To The Arizona Border
MEXICO CITY - Mexico's Department of Immigration has just made an announcement that has shocked many of the citizens in the USA; especially those living in Arizona. The DOI has decided that they can no longer afford to house and feed the thousands...
Read full storyNorth Korea Fires A Missile At New Zealand But It Ends Up Crashing Into A North Korean Rice Processing Plant
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un was recently offended at a remark that a reporter from New Zealand TV had made where he stated that he needed to lose about 45 pounds. So in order to show his disfavor the North Korean leader decided to fire on...
Read full storyObama to clarify "We don't want you meddling in our meddling, Vladimir" statement
The current crisis in Ukraine is drawing a lot of interpretation, with western media leaning toward the view Putin threatens democracy in the Ukraine. Putin is in various phases of demonization from stalwarts of the free world's press at this time...
Read full storyMake your teacher think she is glued to her chair by hypnosis
The technique is simply one of suggestion and will work spectacularly on the right subjects. First you must secretly test your subjects for susceptibility by making hidden suggestions in your everyday conversation with the teacher. An example being, "Miss Brown, here is my homework make me a fried egg sandwich I'm sorry the homework is late." If the subject obeys the hidden command, then immed...
Read full storyModding Mom's car to sound like a growling tiger
To Mod your Mom's car to turn heads follow my three easy steps. While Mom is at the hairdressers: 1) Pimp the tailpipe with a Performance Exhaust: Have a muffler shop that knows what they're doing upgrade her exhaust system. The term for what you want is a "header-back" exhaust which will greatly increase the amount of noise the car makes and produce a deep, growling sound. 2) Take off her...
Read full storyWWE owner Vince McMahon's proposals for Changes in Football
Rumours have circulated over the last week that Professional Wrestling company owner Vince McMahon has been enquiring about the possibility of buying English football team Newcastle United FC. However, the WWE Chairman has made a series of proposals about how to change the game to make it connect more with the professional wrestling audience. 1.) Newcastle United will rename themselves "The...
Read full storyBook Review - A Bugs Life
Please don't make the same mistake I did. I purchased this book in the belief it was an expose on the workings of electronic eavesdropping devices as planted by the NSA, CIA, FBI, IRS and KFC. I was totally wrong. About 40 pages into this book I realized that this had nothing to do with gadgets, spying or the tapping of phones. It's about a talking insect, and other talking pests an...
Read full storyBook Review - Things Fall Apart (The African Trilogy, #1) by Chinua Achebe
This is NOT a book written about my time as a furniture maker, yes I readily admit that some things were maybe put together a little haphazardly, however I didn't deserve to be fired and then told I was "an imbecile." Therefore read this book with the knowledge that it isn't about me, or any other craftsman, who makes things that fall to bits. I have no idea what this book is about but gav...
Read full storyMichelle Obama To Appear In Parks And Recreation As Celebrity Obsessed Star Struck Ex- Wife Of US President
US First Lady Michelle Obama is set to appear in the television comedy Parks and Recreation. She is set to play a self promoting, celebrity obsessed and star struck, ex wife of the US President; her character, 'Michelle', will have some side split...
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