Online 'Banter' Annoys People
Anyone that finishes a comment on social media with 'lol, banter', is officially not involved in any 'banter' and lessens their circle of online friends by 7 people every time the statement is made. With the number of online users of Facebook and...
Read full storyScummy Pubs To Hire Doorman
Under a new Tory law, pubs that predominantly cater for the unemployed have to employ a thin, disheveled middle-aged man to smoke at the front door to ensure no upstanding citizens accidentally go in for a pint. The law, entitled 'fag means f**k o...
Read full story"Send A Message" To 9-Year-Olds Says GOP Chief
Oversight and Government Reform Chairman Darrell Issa, R-Calif., has sent President Barack Obama a letter calling for an end to the 2012 executive order granting stays of deportation to children brought into the country illegally by their parents whe...
Read full storyBobby Lobby CEO Opposes Vibrators For Employees
President and CEO of Bobby Lobby, Cotton Mather, gave an exclusive interview to this magazine today. It is part of our series on the role of the corporation in U.S.society. The background for this particular interview is that the Supreme Court has ruled that the access to contraceptive coverage granted by the Affordable Care Act creates a significant burden on a corporation's free exercise of...
Read full storyCaliph of new Islamic State of Humbuggia opens US embassy, sends Tony Blair as peace envoy
Washington DC - Located in a damp and ugly 200 sq ft teardown behind Bladensburg Metrobus garage at 2251 26th Street NE the new legation's HQ aint's exactly swish by international diplomatic standards. But hey, it's about to get a fab five hundre...
Read full storyPlay the skin flute 2016
Following on from the fantastic success of British competitors during the 2012 Games and the general euphoria throughout the nation it is hoped we can repeat these achievements in Brazil 2016. To this event (no pun intended) the International Game...
Read full storyThe Devil Pussy invades!
An elderly couple recently told how they were terrorised in their own home for three days by a cat! Royston Munt needed hospital treatment after being attacked by the intruder, which got in through a bedroom window. Retired taxidermist and WW2...
Read full storyUS Border Patrol Invokes Nancy Reagan's Anti-Drug Mantra "Just Say No" To Solve Child Immigrant Problem.
The head of the U.S. Border Patrol, James Bratcatcher, highly stressed from dealing with the sudden influx of children and young mothers with children from Latin America, has claimed that a solution to the international problem came to him in a dream...
Read full storySkippy the bush kangaroo comes forward after years of abuse by Rolf Harris
Skippy the bush kangaroo, the iconic television star of the show of the same name has come forward after years of abuse. In a tearful display exhibiting sadness and shock, she explained what had happened between her and Harris. Rolf Harris has been s...
Read full storyStreet performer arrested after squeezing his own testicles to hit the high note of Sia's Chandelier
Birmingham, England- Street performer Chase Michaels was arrested by the bill earlier today for squeezing his own bollocks to hit the high not of the lyric, "chanda lier lier." Locals were not impressed by the show with local mother Linda Harris...
Read full storyMan Invents Lovers Bed With Built In After Sex Cigarette
British Inventor, Getin Divan has invented a luxury bed in time for the after Christmas bed buying frenzy, which knows when making love has ocurred and puffs out electronically generated cigarette aromas to complete the experience. A spokesperson...
Read full storyDon't Do Stupid Sh*t party steps forward to challenge duopoly
The new DDSS party, inspired direct from President Obama's name for his foreign policy, the "Don't Do Stupid Sh*t" policy, is set for a two year run to take the Presidency. It emphasizes program, not personality. A founding principle begins: "We h...
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