Saturday, 5 July 2014


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image for Street performer arrested after squeezing his own testicles to hit the high note of Sia's Chandelier

Birmingham, England- Street performer Chase Michaels was arrested by the bill earlier today for squeezing his own bollocks to hit the high not of the lyric, "chanda lier lier."

Locals were not impressed by the show with local mother Linda Harris admitting to calling the plod. "Yes, I was horrified, we were out doing the shopping with the kids and this man starts grabbing his frank and beans. It was quite revolving."

Michaels vocal coach leaped to the buskers defense, "Its not normally in his selection of what he performs," confessed the singer, "but its a popular song. You have to give the people what they want and he actually sings it well. He just has to squeeze the old budgie to hit those two or three notes in that part of the song."

There is no word from the local constabulary who refused to comment.

"It's a bit ridiculous locking him up for that," admitted recently released prisoner Clive "the cat burglar" Della, "after all, what good will it do putting a busker who squeezes his jewels to hit a high note in the PENAL system?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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